Lauren Moffatt is not Jill Stuart

August 22nd, 2010

lauren moffatt is not jill stuart

Right? Even though they bought the same fabric?

[ELLIOTT ERWITT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Postcards From the Ledge

August 6th, 2010

The Wall

[EMAIL ME - IMAGINARYSOCIALITE@GMAIL.COM]

They’re Just Like Us!

August 6th, 2010

Here’s how you know you’re obsessed:

It’s four AM.

You’re watching Alfie on Hulu.

You can’t sleep.

You can’t get Sienna’s hair.

You can’t get Sienna’s smeared-but-still-perfect eyeliner.

Instead, you stop the movie in the middle, and go, “Oh my gosh, I have bruises on my thighs just like hers!”

And it actually feels like an accomplishment.

[JANIE BRYANT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The First Cut Is the Deepest

August 6th, 2010

The salons are already booked through August.

Well, the cool ones anyway.

Why?

Well who can explain really (except Malcolm Gladwell and those dudes from Freakonomics) but they predict a riotsea change… hair change coming through, just in time for Fashion Week.

Give your thanks to Emma Watson, and the urge to spend money on tequila instead of shampoo.

But the scary thing? Late at night in rooftop glass bathrooms, girls are talking about DIYing their own bob. Eek.

Scissors - they’re not just for slicing skin anymore.

[RUBY ALDRIDGE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Vampires Can’t Eat Cupcakes

August 6th, 2010

Today is Andy Warhol’s birthday.

It is also Becka Diamond’s birthday.

That could be a coincidence…

But does anyone believe in those anymore?

[RON GALELLA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Past is Present

August 6th, 2010

Blocked Call: {IMAGE FROM SMS PHOTO}

Imaginary Socialite: Shut up.

Blocked Call: It’s a good looking sign.

Imaginary Socialite: Indeed. But does it belong to you?

Blocked Call: Now it does… but for a price, it can belong to anyone. Our network has both signs and our network has an email for them: BeatriceSign@gmail.com

Imaginary Socialite: Wow. I don’t even want to know how you got it.

Blocked Call: A hot air balloon, a lock of MK Olsen’s hair, an underground circuit of Jack Siegel fans, a screwdriver from Duane Reade, a Matt Creed mixtape, and the fourth Misshape.

The crime of the century?

[SASHA GREY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Real or Fake: Seeing Stars Hearts

July 30th, 2010

The girl on the right is a TGBT: A Too Good To Be True.

She’s adorable.

She’s rocking insanely cool heart-shaped shades.

She’s mastered the look of red lips in the day.

She’s dancing and not posing.

And she’s got a sweet Chanel purse.

But nothing’s ever this good - is it?

[ANNICK GOUTAL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Is-Nots Return! Snooki Is Not Sookie!

July 30th, 2010

Snooki is not Sookie

Or as Atlanta DeCadenet says, one of them is “definitely one of the dumbest bitches out there.” Yeah, guess which one.

[MATTHEW BIRES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Postcards From the Ledge

July 27th, 2010

May

[email me - imaginarysocialite@gmail.com]

Rumours, Track Five

July 27th, 2010

“Be my girlfriend,” he thuds.

It’s 5 AM and I’d think I was dreaming, except the waitress heard us. She was laughing, and not on the inside.

“What does that even mean?” I laze. I don’t mean to be all 500 Days of Summer but the truth is, I need to stall.

“Don’t play Philosophy Major,” he snaps. Actually, I studied art. Actually, I can bullshit way better than those metaphysics kids. “You know what I mean,” he continues. He tugs on his t-shirt. I think he only wears one, but maybe he has multiples, like Superman. “A girlfriend. She should be cool, and she should get me, and she should be really nice. She should be you, maybe.”

Laughter behind us. The waitress. I order Lo Mein Then I look out the window.

Here’s what my guts do: They splurge on pink and purple slime, and churn the threads of glee and “gross!” into a sticky knot that scrapes above my ribs. I can feel rainbows and hearts and sunshine jabbing into my stomach. I can feel hands on my thighs even though I’m twisted up. And the happy and the horror zip themselves together and finally fold away.

Here’s what my face does: It hatches into a daylight grin and a stream of laughing air. I learned how to do this when I was fourteen, but as I grew up, it got harder to tell when it was fake. I’m not grown up yet. I shouldn’t have just typed that. Anyway.

“I’m tired,” I hiss. “But you’re funny. Can you pass me the hot sauce?”

We live a block from each other. We take separate cabs home. I sleep dreamless, and with my fingers in my hair.

[AURELIE BIDERMANN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Measured In It Girls

July 27th, 2010

Carol in Makeup

Read the rest of this entry »

Things To Discuss This Week…

July 26th, 2010

1. You know what’s even more important than an Alex Wang bag? An Alex Wang wrist band. Girls, keep checking your mailboxes…

2. Beautiful baby socialite, we know what you did last night - because you left the underwear that your sister designs on the floor of Le Bain.

3. People read this blog besides Bevy?! WTF. Dude, calm down, your new cafe will be amazing. Breathe deep.

4. The City may be over, but ELLE on MTV apparently isn’t. Erin, are you ready for your next model-actress-employee? She’s cooler than OP, we swear.

5. Barely-teen Elle scores a high fashion ad campaign. Dakota for Marc was just the beginning. Wait, what?!

[LUCY HALE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Blue Monday: Lite Brite

July 26th, 2010

Die Antwerp

[WATKIN TUDOR JONES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Meet Your New Crush 304

July 26th, 2010

Sky Ferreira, 17.

Mary Kate Olsen and Georgia Jagger have a baby.

Then they rip out Christina’s vocal chords.

And steal songs from Chrissie Hynde.

And produce them on Wii Music, before sticking them to a wall with Bubblicious gum.

That’s basically Sky. At least, until she changes her mind again.

[ANNIE LENNOX - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Real or Fake: Ring It In

July 26th, 2010

These rings and this Louis Vuitton bag have one thing in common:

They were both imported from a Paris attic in the ’80s.

But was the suitcase made in Paris…

Or did it come from somewhere else -

Like a factory in Taiwan?

[GAIA REPOSSI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]