Imaginary Socialite

Janie saw when she was five years old, there was nothing happening at all.

Every time she puts on the radio, there was nothing going on at all… no, not at all…

Then one fine morning she puts on the New York station, she couldn’t believe what she heard at all.

She started dancing to a rock and roll station, you know, her life was saved by rock and roll.

[POLINA FRATSENA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Made for Chanel: I was hanging out with the Hellz Bellz designer, Lanie, this weekend.

Imaginary Socialite: Oh yeah?

Made for Chanel: Yeah, and I was like, The Imaginary Socialite got your sticker and she really digs you.

Imaginary Socialite: It’s true.

Made for Chanel: And I was like, she wants to hang out with you and rock out with you and go down on you and everything.

Imaginary Socialite: Excuse me?!

Made for Chanel: Hahaha.

Imaginary Socialite: Yeah, you think you’re sooo brilliant. You know what?

Made for Chanel: Huh.

Imaginary Socialite: That’s completely not true, and I’m not into girls, but you know what? If I did go down on her, the sad thing is, I would be wayyy better at it then you.

Made for Chanel: Haaaaaaa.

Made for Chanel: Nicely played.

Imaginary Socialite: It was all I could do.

[OLIVIA THRILBY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Emily, 20

next Top Model

next best thing

next in line

next to nothing

next IS. At least according to a little dream called MySpace…!!!

[FIONA DaRIN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

And other confusions for indie princesses.

[MELISSA WALKER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

This “Faile” graffiti was…

a) Authentic, insane, and salvaged from a dumpster by Diamond Rodgers.

b) Created during a night of wrecked party games and spilled champagne in a Chinatown basement by a Traina sister and friends.

c) Part of the set for an Evan Rachel Wood film.

d) Commissioned by Tower Hamlets.

Take a chance here.

[BANKSY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

[STEPHANIE SAVAGE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Multiple Choice.

This sticker featuring Chanel Black Satin nail polish is…

a) an urban initiative from Chanel Beaute aimed at luring the skating and hip-hop crowds with hip viral marketing.

b) the invitation to Raquel Zimmerman’s 27th birthday party.

c) super cute and from skater grrrl brand Hellz Bellz.

d) sooo much better than those take-out menus that are usually stuck to my door.

[JI BAEK - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Jodie Harsh, 23

What do you need to get Kate Moss to come to your birthday party?

A gold Members Only jacket.

Airbrushed eye shadow.

Barbie pink M.A.C lipstick.

Awesome dance moves.

And an Adams Apple. Apparently.

Photograph by Diamond Rodgers.

[SADIE FROST - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Dear Phillip Lim,

Saying that your dress is “on sale” for $1499 is rather inaccurate.

It’s sort of like saying you’ve broken up with your ex boyfriend even though you’re still sleeping together.

Not that you, Phillip Lim, have ever done that.

But I totally have, and the frustration I felt when we finally realized it was a bad idea is quite similar to the knowledge I have that I can never have this dress.

The only thing more infuriating:

Facebook now says I should be friends with Donovan Leitch.

OMG.

[PIPPA MIDDLETON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?}

To: ImaginarySocialite@gmail.com

From: Conde_Blast@condenast.com

Remember last week, when Derek Blasberg dropped his own name into the Style.com “Gangs of New York” piece? At least according to Gawker and, well, everyone in the office?

Check out Style.com’s blog today. Kelley Hoffman wrote a piece on Selima Optique’s last party, and the photo they used… is a picture of Kelley Hoffman.

This is totally Style.com’s attempt at being Warholic, right?

I’m not so sure about that, but awww… isn’t Kelley cute?

[NANCY McDONNELL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Spotted:

Lizzie Olsen, the 18-year-old sister of Mary Kate and Ashley, on 14th and Third Avenue.

The California native, who is 5′7, is finishing her first year at NYU, where she lives in the regular dorms and studies acting at Tisch School of the Art’s Atlantic Theater Company, which was founded in part by David Mamet.

Besides learning how to curse effectively onstage (perhaps the only notable quality of a Mamet-trained actor), Miss Lizzy is avoiding all parties, at least according to a dorm mate, and studying until she falls over.

We wonder how long that will last, and if she ever wanders into Barneys to see her namesake, the Elizabeth + James clothing collection by her big sisters…

[HUNTER JOHANSSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Two weeks ago, I was taken to Balthazar and promptly quizzed about my life. It’s okay, because the woman with the Am Ex was cool, smart, hot, and incredibly successful - in short, one of those “Oh gosh, will I be you?” women.

Plus, she shares an unreasonable crush on Kate Moss.

After making me spill on every boy I might have already kissed, she deemed them unworthy (told you she was smart), then made me a bet.

“Go on Nerve.com,” she commanded. “It’s where I met my boyfriend. Go on, and if you don’t meet someone you like within six months, we will go to the spa for an entire day, my treat.”

And you know I never back down from a bet.

The problem?

Now I need to pick a screen name, and ImaginarySocialite is too long.

So, do we like…

a) LipGlossNotBombs
b) ThanksForTheFish
c) MyLittleFauxnie
d) SpellBombshell
e) SomebodyDaredMe

Obviously the plus with #b is if you don’t get the reference, I probably don’t want to kiss you anyway. But it could also lead to a lot of Sci Fi nerds, which is why I’m not calling myself Eowyn.

Anyway, go on and vote.

[BECKI NEWTON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

To: ImaginarySocialite@Gmail.com
From: Admin@Facebook.com

Dear Imaginary Socialite,

The people you email are probably people you want to be your friends.

This tool matches the emails from your address book to profiles of people who are already on Facebook.

You might want to be friends with:

Lauren Santo Domingo
Joe Zee
Marc Jacobs

Absolutely. Those people are already so speed dialing me every day. I will get right on that.

PS: Real or Fake - Joe Zee’s Facebook? With a Getty Images picture?

[MELORA WALTERS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]