I think it’s so funny that Page Six called Holly Millea “a writer for Details” today, since Holly Millea is so clearly the editor-at-large for Elle Magazine, and my personal idol. Just saying.
[HOLLY MILLEA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Archive for May, 2005
Page Fix
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005But will we need sunblock?
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005Just so you know, there’s a Hot Hot Heat concert somewhere in New York this weekend. There’s also a Hot Hot Heat afterparty with a Hot Hot Boy who’s going to be there. And since you can claim shotgun as soon as you see the car, I’m gonna claim boy as soon as I’ve seen the concert tickets. Which I have. So.
Back off, bitches. He’s mine.
[TRENT REZNOR - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
My Boyfriend’s Back, And You’re Gonna…
Saturday, May 14th, 2005Speaking of mail, here’s a fun one:
Imaginary socialite whoever the hell you are,
I know who you have a crush on and his girlfriend is going to kick your ass if she finds out you want him so you better watch it okay? She will figure it out and she will get you when she comes back from London. So you better stop going to Mis Shapes okay?
Love a concerned reader.
Wow.
Dear concerned reader, whomever the hell YOU are,
I think I know who you’re talking about, and he’s awesome, but definitely not my crush.
I would never get between him and his rather alluring and foreign-ish, famous-ish girlfriend, whom I think I would really like if I knew better. You’re right, though – his eyes do crinkle when he’s happy and it’s adorable. Aw.
Also, Misshapes is all one word, pretty sure.
Love,
The I.S. (who needless to say isn’t very concerned).
Anyway, last night someone who used to be my crush (and, um, my boyfriend) told me that he loved me, and that when he died, no matter whom he married or how much we ignored each other, he would think about me first.
Ugh.
[VANESSA VON BISMARCK - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Constance Comment, Our Favorite Tea
Saturday, May 14th, 2005Okay, also…
People keep asking why they can’t leave a comment, how we can enable the comments, etc. Our unbelievable webmaster, The Steve, will work this out shortly. In the meantime, I promise I will post ALL of your comments as mail if you send them to me.
am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
And just so you know, the Masterson Boys are having a super secret party tonight in their loft, like they’re even calling people and checking the spelling of their NAMES so they can get into it. Good luck crashing that one; see you there. Also: no drugs allowed, for real.
And gosh, maybe I really AM Bijou Phillips – how in the world do I find out this useless info?
[LAURA PREPON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
1-800-WE-ARE-18
Friday, May 13th, 2005This just in from Teen Vogue: there are 3 staff positions open: fashion news assistant, photo editor, and web editor (? maybe, we’re not so sure about this last one’s exact title). Anyway, if you haven’t noticed everyone from T.V. going to Nylon, etc, start noticing.
[EVIANNA HARTMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
A Real Love Letter…
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005Dear I.S.,
Do you really want to drink beer? I somehow don’t believe you…
your #1 fan”
Hmm…
Dear #1 fan,
It’s true, I don’t really drink beer. Except two nights ago, when The Seeker and Boxer made me skip dancing to Bloc Party at Misshapes to go drink with them at Chumley’s. I was really mad at them, so I finished this thing called a Honey Blonde in like two seconds. Boxer was impressed, but then The Seeker made me eat 4 Kati rolls, one with potatoes, and then I was a total mess.
Anyway, no, don’t want to drink beer.
Air Kisses!
The Imaginary Socialite
[DAPHNE GUINNESS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
An imaginary love letter
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005Dear boy who I have a big crush on,
Last night, I thought it might be fun to move into your big house and kick out your big live-in girlfriend and jump on your bed all night.
We could play some of your too-trendy but still rather amazing CDs too loud, and drink beer or tequila or sake until the ceiling started to spin. Then we could crash on what I imagine is your really huge mattress and laugh, and wrestle, and fall over because we were still dizzy. Then we would do it again.
After we woke up from passing out, we would flip through your back issues of iD and Dazed and Confused and Flaunt, and then I would need to affirm your hetero-ness by sleeping with you. You scrunch your eyes up when you’re happy, and that makes me laugh. It would be SO fun. Maybe afterwards we would kiss. Then we could jump on your bed some more, and then have more sex, and then maybe take a nap.
Okay, you would take a nap, because you’re a huge lush and would need it. I would lie awake reading about Jefferson Hack in a back issue of Tatler I found under your bed.
I have these really hot ruffle panties from Sonia Rykiel’s lingerie line and a pretty tight body, and you have lots and lots of money and a way cute smile, so I think this can work.
Don’t you?
[BIJOU PHILLIPS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
photo blogging battle?
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005So, do we think there’s like a fight between Bronxe at Last Night’s Party and Mark Hunter at The Cobra Snake? Because aren’t they basically doing the same thing?
And, also, don’t all the people in the photos look like basically the same people?
And, also, too, where has my mail gone? BRING IT BACK! am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
[MARIO TESTINO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The Affair of the Necklace, Update
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005Overheard at Paper Magazine: “Josh Madden totally told me I was getting a necklace and he never sent me one! I’m SO mad, I want one SO badly!”
memo to Canal Street vendors: find this necklace. make it soon.
[CYNTHIA ROWLEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Weekend Update
Saturday, May 7th, 2005You can stay in and watch NBC for the Karl Lagerfeld appearance, or, if you’ve been invited and the rumors are true, go to Nan Kempner’s townhouse and watch some overpriviledged hotties sing some opera, show some art, and figure out who to bring home afterwards. Funny, I thought the Costume Ball was LAST week…
[IAN KLAUS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The Affair of the Necklace, Part 2
Saturday, May 7th, 2005Erstwhile mentioned Josh Madden has created a line of necklaces for his company, Made Clothing. They’re a long ball-chain, and at the end, a die-cast steel tape cassette charm. They’re adorable, but the thing is, you can’t buy them – Josh has to give one to you.
Perhaps the Imaginary Socialite has one, perhaps she just really wants one which is why she’s making such a big deal out of this. At any rate, here’s the preliminary list of who’s got one:
Hilary Duff
Sarah Lewitinn
Dana Dynamite
Kelly Osbourne (duh)
Carmelita Morales
Devon Aoki
Atoosa Rubenstein
Aimee Phillips
Kelly Cutrone
Leigh Lezark
Unless, of course, it’s just a rumor.
[MANDY MOORE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
sample sale secret
Friday, May 6th, 2005rogan is having a secret sample sale next week. details to follow (after I go there and buy everything I want, silly).
[JANET OZZARD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Lesson 3: How to Get into Page Six
Thursday, May 5th, 20051. Learn what Richard Johnson looks like (just type his name into the search box!).
2. Get really drunk.
3. Approach Richard at an event, preferably when he’s with his girlfriend Sessa.
4. Shout at the top of your lungs, “why are you writing such awful things about my family! my father checked into a psych ward because of you! and I’ve been disinherited! and no, my mother was NEVER a mexican beauty queen! she worked in a cuban massage parlor! satan will deliver you to justice, mister johnson!”
5. Try not to laugh so hard that vodka goes up your nose. Especially if you’re The Seeker, Boxer, or me.
other ways to get into Page Six
1. Sit next to Benecio del Toro at the Mercer Bar, tell him you love him, accept his room key, bring a camera phone.
2. Steal something from a Conde Nast fashion closet and sell it on ebay.
3. Claim Lloyd Grove gave you an STD
4. Make Ashlee Simpson cry at a charity event in the bathrom by telling her that the backup track sounded really real onstage.
5. Date Jamie Johnson. Or Jaime Foxx. Or Jamie Lynn DiScala. Or maybe all three at the same time.
[RICHIE AKIVA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The Affair of the Necklace
Thursday, May 5th, 2005For reasons undisclosed to you guys, I recently met with Elle’s Fashion Editor, Joann Paley. She was wearing this great, long, tripled over Chanel necklace in gold, with little black enameled C’s hanging off it.
So then, Roberta Meyers (Elle’s E-i-C) is on The Today Show this morning, talking about… something, can’t even remember… and WEARING THE SAME NECKLACE!.
(Seriously, you looked hot, and we love love love Elle; it’s awesome).
[KELLY BENSIMON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
C-O-L-A cola
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005Designer Alexis Bittar was spotted last night with friends at i-Bop karaoke, wearing a blonde Paris Hilton wig, carrying a stuffed Paris Hilton dog, and singing “Don’t You Want Me, Baby.”
This is way funnier when you realize that Alexis Bittar is a guy.
[IVANKA TRUMP - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]