To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: bubbeleh@whatjewwant.comDear I.S.
Are you the girl with the magenta mohawk? You’re TOTALLY the girl with the magenta mohawk.
By the way, love the pic of Josh with the Anna Wintour sign.
Don’t we all, little Bubbie.
And sadly, I only wear magenta boy-shorts and magenta Anna Sui wedge heels, not magenta hair… but good try…
[JEM - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
There’s a photo of The Imaginary Socialite on the Misshapes website, from last Saturday’s party. I am posing with one other person. Any guesses may be sent to am.i@imaginarysocialite.com, and yes I’ll tell you if it’s actually me.
[ANNIE LEIBOWITZ - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Bea and I sit on top of each other at Arlene’s Grocery. We are displeased with the starfucking in this town, especially among our friends, especially among one friend in particular, especially because this friend is so unbelievably special that they don’t need to mention anybody else to be cool.
We sit, transfixed, trying to decipher why this person likes to starfuck so much. Perhaps literally as well as this other kind. We are confused, and dismayed. We wonder if this person is worth surrendering to the dark side, or if we should try some sort of subtle intervention. But I have already tried a subtle intervention with someone else tonight, at the Elle Girl party, and I’m not in the mood for another one. We think it’s time for tequila.
Then Adrien Grenier puts his arms around our shoulders and tells us to follow him to a bar, and we sort of lose it and smile uncontrollably and abandon our drinks and our night immediately.
Yeah…
[DEBI MAZAR - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
1. Where the skirt hits your legs is not the issue. Choose a skirt that hits your waist and hips at the right place. You’ll look skinny if the skirt skims your hips and makes your body look longer, regardless of how fat your thighs are. Being the exemplary IS that I am, my thighs are really skinny, but if you pretend yours are skinny too, everyone will believe you.
2. Hemlines were meant to be shredded.
3. Wear it with flats. Skimmer sneakers even. We’ll just call you Mischa.
4. When sitting on the floor of a boy’s apartment, pay no regard to the fact that you’re not sitting cross legged. Try and scoot the skirt up with the friction of the rug. It’s a good thing.
6. When in doubt, go a little shorter.
[KAREN ELSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Do you want to work at Hermes for a year as their intern? Do you want to get paid for it? Then call them up and tell them, ’cause they’re looking for someone to work in their public relations department and they’ll love you. As long as you’re pretty and do what they say.
[GAYLE KING - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Two posts in one cycle, but okay.
Marvin Scott Jarrett’s in Japan right now filming Good Charlotte on their Asian tour, and when he comes back to L.A. he’s beginning work on a film project which may star Tamryn Manning, whom I love!
[EMILY DOUGHERTY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
from: heather@justanothergirl.com
to: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com; bea@beautyandthebea.comsubject: you are so pretty on myspace
who does she think she is putting up cute blonde baby pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she is adorable though….
who was a cuter ?
Or me eating a cookie at the beach?
omg, she totally wins. and i look fat compared to her even as a baby!
i give up.it was nice knowing you both.
goodbye!
[BENJAMIN CHO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Fact: All Beauty Editors from Nylon write books.
1. Kara Jesella, Beauty Editor who went to Teen Vogue, who quit to write a book on Sassy.
2. Molly Rosen, Beauty Editor who quit to write a novel
3. Charlotte Rudge, Beauty Editor who went to Vitals who’s quitting to…
4. Fiorella Valdesolo, Beauty Editor who’s still there. Until she writes a book. Right?
[ERIN FLAHERTY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Boxer takes off his pants in the middle of Central Park.
“My boxers are dark enough, right?”
They are blue plaid, and long, and look like J. Crew shorts. I tell him he’s fine. He kicks off his shoes and charges into the fountain, with all the little kids and the two German tourists in too-skinny pants. The water looks gross. Boxer looks elated.
“There’s no chance you’d come in, right?”
I think about being 10 and refusing to swim in the lake at camp. And that was organic.
When Boxer climbs out of the fountain, he shakes all his drops on me, like a wet dog. We climb back to his stolen apartment in the Time Warner Building and listen to obscure rock mixes, and he tries to line up all his dates for the week, and I stare out the huge windows at the river.
We empty a bottle of Annie’s Sesame Ginger dressing into a bowl and finish the whole thing with crackers and carrots. Our crack.
At seven, I take off, and realize for the past 30 minutes we haven’t said a word to each other, just shared the same space, and in a weird way it makes me feel closer.
[JI BAEK - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
“My mixes get passed around like my heart.” - Scout. Yeah, no shit.
[SAMANTHA RONSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Example One
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: ScoutThe party last night was kinda gay. Do you hate me now? I feel like you totally hate me.
Example Two
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: Important Fashion FirebombAre you like best friends with Scout now? I thought you didn’t like him. You totally do. You know, if it weren’t for me, you guys never would have met.
Anybody else? I’d really like one that says, maybe, my friend says that your friend likes you, so do you like him, because then you could cut Health class together and go for ice cream.
am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
[ZOE KRAVITZ - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Exactly two weeks ago, I met a tall, black-haired, pink-skinned thing named Ellen. She had a huge smile and a pair of overworn cowboy boots and a business card that read “model.” The first thing she said to me was, “unfortunately, I only eat rabbit food.” I liked her immediately.
When we left the party, the shoe designer Courtney Crawford asked for my number. Ellen, and her boyfriend John and Scout, laughed uncontrollably. Courtney’s shoes are incredible, but he does come off a little bit frat boy TRL olive garden. Ellen pulled me into her cab; we went to Orchard Bar with the other Tarts of Pleasure. Except we were just tarts.
Exactly one week ago, Scout and I crashed on his couch watching Empire Records and gorging on sushi, when John and Ellen showed up at his apartment. We went to Orchard Bar again. I escaped to Darkroom, found Heather and Bea, Scout found us, fast forward to Back to the Future at 6 am, fun. Ellen escaped early.
Then on Tuesday, I went down to the West Village to get fitted for an outfit, and crashed into Ellen, eating said rabbit food at a corner deli. She just left her old agency for Elite models, which is great. We walked to the subway together, kissed bye bye.
Yesterday I am in the showroom of Courtney Crawford, frat boy MTV shoe designer. I am trying on his shoes, which are obsession-worthy and uncannily like Jimmy Choo. Courtney stands up and drops a piece of paper; I pick it up for him; it is Ellen’s contact sheet. She is the new face of his line, he has just decided.
I am not allowed to tell her because they haven’t called her yet. But if fate keeps acting up, Ellen’s totally reading this blog right now. And, the bigger question - WHY have I crashed into her like five times in a week?
Stay tuned.
[JEANNIE LEE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Pucci and Gucci totally rhyme.
Omigosh!
giggle giggle giggle
[ALIX LIGHT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
In the past two weeks, Nanette Lepore, Michelle Smith, Cynthia Rowley, and Betsey Johnson have used the word “hostess” to describe their Spring ‘06 collections.
Excuse me, but when did all the competing mid-level women’s designers get together in a room and decide that, of all the things to do for spring, they would settle on some sort of head scarf big sunglass Lilly Pulitzer love fest? What the hell?
Memo to these fabulous designers: stop listening to Youth Intelligence or whatever, and do your own thing. I promise we’ll still buy it. And really, how many colors and fabrics can actually work for spring anyway? You’ll collide unintentionally, I swear.
Memo to these fabulous readers: now that everything’s going on sale, buy Lilly-ish prints, big Pucci scarves, even bigger Gucci sunglasses, and SHEATH DRESSES like Jackie O. You’ll be grateful to shed the tunic/caftan look, for sure.
[DANI STAHL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Black Eyed Peas Fergie is going solo. Am I the first, or the last, to hear this?
[JOSH DUHAMEL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]