Teen Vogue needs a new market editor; Regina left to go do PR at Theory.
Anyway, this means there’s a market job open at TV, and again, don’t apply if you’re way underqualified ’cause we’ll laugh at you in the fashion closet. Gloria Baume, the market director, is probably the one you should contact, it’s first name _ last name@condenast.com
[MICHAEL KARL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The very end of Clueless. Cher sitting in front of the fountain. “All By Myself” on the soundtrack. Or maybe the one from Radiohead. Anyway, if you know what I’m talking about… yeah. And if you don’t, it’s probably better that way.
[JIMMY IM - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
And it’s SO pretty! Yay!
[EMILY DESCHANEL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
“We found these paparazzi shots in Sarah’s house of Hilary and Greg and they were SO funny. Greg looked REALLY happy.”
Yes, I would look happy too were I being chased by US Weekly for no apparent reason. The surreality of this whole thing astounds me, but maybe at this point it shouldn’t.
Anyway, I’m tired and going to bed. Yes, really; I’m having brunch with Radar Magazine in the morning and I’d rather not look like a hag. Someone send me a full report tomorrow on Paul Thompson and if anybody at Misshapes actually knows who he is.
am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
Someone also send me a full iced latte tomorrow, with whole milk, since I’m gonna need it.
[REBECCA TURBOW - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Really the thirteenth, but Scout’s building doesn’t have a thirteenth floor because it’s unlucky…
*A small crowd of hipsters and critics watching Empire Records in rapt attention.
*Multiple text messages from the Tarts of Pleasure (we made it, girls, we swear!)
*A brief detour to Dark Room
*Heather and Bea and an exhausted, non-makeup version of me, crashed out on Scout’s bed watching Back to the Future.
*Reeses Pieces pajama bottoms
*Semi-stolen Christian Dior glasses, that Scout may not get back because they don’t suit his face at all…
*Scout curled up in a ball on his chair, drained and sleeping and maybe newly single
*The doorman laughing at us as we left, laughing hysterically, at 9 am.
Now I’m crashing in my own bed. Alone. And totally psyched I don’t need to share the covers.
[EMILY ROHM - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: Boxer
Happy Summer! (0fficially not until the 23rd). We’re gonna burn this town.
I love my boys.
[DAISY JOHNSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Paper Magazine needs a new socialite-cum-whipping-boy, aka Events Manager. If you want the job, you should contact Drew Elliott of Trinity fame in the most un-boring way possible. I suggest making him a mix CD. Or perhaps a cake in the shape of a penis. Or perhaps not.
Anyway, it’s firstname@papermag.com and don’t waste his time if you’re not already a party animal and a marginally real socialite to boot. And your jeans better be real skinny, cause Jake Brown will be your other boss.
[MICKEY BOARDMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Because people feel sorry for me, or perhaps because they’re starting to believe I’m an actual socialite, I receive invitations sometimes from publicists who want to dress me. One such publicist was a really lovely, wispy girl named Melissa. Melissa’s boss is Cynthia Steffe and her boyfriend is the lead singer for the Walkmen, whose name I don’t know.
What I do know is the Walmen have that very aggressive song, Black Jettas/ Ex Girlfriends, with the infamous tag line, “they all look the same.” Although Melissa is his current girlfriend, it would still flip me out, were my boyfriend to be the author, singer, and poster boy for this song.
Sort of like how I could never date anyone from Bare Naked Ladies, first because they’re old, and second because in that song, “If I Had A Million Dollars,” they denounce green dresses, and I look incredible in green dresses.
Maybe Cynthia Steffe will lend me one now.
[CYNTHIA STEFFE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Today Lucy sat on a park bench on Broome Street in all of her glory. The newly blonde intelectuelle downed twelve greasy fried dumplings while wearing white khakis and a pink cashmere sweater from Ralph Lauren.
She looked so absolutely at home in all of her absurd preppiness that even the homeless people were scared to approach her, thinking perhaps they were in the wrong neighborhood. She also looked on in horror as I bought two pickles from a barrell on Orchard Street, which I swear is the only way to go.
Finally, Lucy attempted to like a corset and some dresses at Tracey Feith, but couldn’t, probably because neither Burberry plaid, pearls, nor cable knitting was involved in their design. Also because they were a bit ridiculous.
Lucy rocks! I’m so glad she came to visit!
[KATE BOSWORTH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
What in the world is this?
Blogshare: The Imaginary Socialite
And does this mean I’m worth more or less than Ultragrrl? Tell me, tell me – I’m awful at finances!
All brokers, traders, ibankers, economists, and gold diggers, email me – especially if you’re cute/single – and tell me what’s going on. am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
[AMANDA FORBES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
So Imaginary Socialite,
Which one of these guys are you going to marry?
–Jamie.
Sadly, J, not you (though of course if you offered, I’d go for it).
Any suggestions? Send them over! am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
[PARIS LATSIS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
If you love Liv Tyler, go to Stanton Social for dinner on Thursday night, at about 7. If they won’t let you in, tell them you’re the new accessories editor at Bazaar. They’ll never know.
[SUMMER PHOENIX - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: Club Monaco Publicist
Publicist, Club Monaco (CM) would like to recall the message, “Celebs LOVE Club Monaco!”.
How strange, I swear I saw Zooey Deschanel wearing one of their little resort knits last week…
[DANIELLE NUSSBAUM - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Bloc Party cancelled their after party tonight; they’re merging with Interpol’s after party at La Caverna. Should be insane. Or empty. Will let you know.
[MEG WHITE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
This is the first time I’ve seen Scout’s tattoos, not just the ones I know. All over his arms, up his shoulders, across his collar bones. Colors and shapes and symbols and words. They stamp over his freckles, which I never noticed before. There are tons. I like them better than I thought I would. The tattoos, and the freckles too.
We drink lattes, but Scout’s is foamy and creamy and chocolate, and mine is plain. I tell him about my tattoo plans, which of course will never happen – a Catskill eagle silhouette, burned in black on my shoulderblade. For the Moby Dick passage that I love. That is me.
“You really want it on your shoulder back?” asks Scout. “You can’t really hide it there. I mean, what about your wedding dress?”
I look at Scout’s face, less shocked than I should be.
On Saturday, The Seeker got on a plane to France without saying goodbye to me. This shouldn’t really hurt me, but it does.
[JENNA MALONE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]