Imaginary Socialite

Forgot to mention, Nick Lachey arrived at a party on Wednesday where I happened to be marooned. This would be unremarkable, were it not for the fact that a publicist skidded into the room slightly before he entered and hissed, “oh my gosh, Jessica Simpson’s ex husband is here!”

Oh, her ex husband is here?

[KERI RUSSELL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Tinsley Mortimer, coming to a Project Runway episode near you?

Sounds fun, though I can’t imagine her in anything Jay McCarroll - whose bags look a lot like the circle totes from both As Four and Rebecca Turbow. Don’t you think?

[NORA CALIGURI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Those Domino girls are really kicking ass. First features editor Zoe Wolff scribes that excellent story in Sunday Styles this week, and then today, style editor Tori Mike (you remember Tori - the beyond-sweet blonde who used to work at Elle Decor?) is on the WB 11 matching new rooms to new clothes…

Also, notice how Zoe leaves Time Out for Domino and then soon after, Jennifer Romolini leaves Time Out for Lucky. It’s like a whole team of coolness shipping themselves over to Conde Nast…

[LAUREN WATERMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Imagine twenty something candles for a newly twenty something Misshapes queen. Now imagine her killing them all with one perfect stiletto stomp. Yay!

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEIGH - MAKE A WISH]

Last month, it was all about getting a job at Teen Vogue. This month? It’s time for Paper. If you heart Mickey Boardman as much as I do, you’ll just glitter on up when you hear that Meghan Sutherland left the downtown rag for the West Broadway loft otherwise known as Nylon, and that means… drumroll.. you might get Meghan’s job at Paper! Maybe… you have to, like, apply first and everything…

Unlike the Anna Wintour gig, your shoes won’t save you on this one. Write a kickass cover letter. Go to Charm School or Las Cabanas and hunt down now-brunette Drew Elliott and tell him how awesome you are. Buy Jake coffee on Sunday morning because he really needs it. Stalk Kim in the Screaming Mimi’s dressing room. You know the drill.

[KUSUM LYNN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Today’s open bar comes courtesy of Johnny Walker, whose party tonight features Paul Sevigny as the DJ and… um… Liz Phair singing happy birthday to the big booze brand. How totally odd.

Any takers?

[DOMINGA GARDNER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Good Morning, gorgeous kids.

Today’s going to be fun; I can just feel it.

[GWYNETH PALTROW - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Agent Provacateur is gearing up for their big sample sale this Saturday.

Their employees are required (!) to wear heels, so here’s a tip for scoring the best stuff: bring some Tenderfoot Scrub from Bliss to the salesgirl, in exchange for her “help” (i.e. her willingness to hide all the corsets you need in the waaay back dressing room).

As long as we’re on the subject, once The Seeker told me he’d buy me anything I wanted from A.P. if I tried it on in front of him first. If you can find a similar offer, I’d suggest taking it - even on sale, those little lace panties from Marseilles are tres cher.

[DITA VON TEESE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

One Dana Dynamite, head of Ben Sherman’s PR and entertainment marketing division, lunching with one Ricky Wilson, head boy of the Kaiser Chiefs.

Conclude what you will, but remember several years ago, when B.S. launched that fabulous series of ads starring British and American indie bands in their not-so-indie clothes…

[PIPPER VOSPA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]