Archive for July, 2005

Men May Make Passes At…

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Some may wonder how the really cool store Operations in Soho managed to open, because it’s owned by 3 born-in-the-’80s kids who have great retail instincts, but no experience to back it up, and certainly no legitimate backers.

Some may also be unaware that one of Operations’ owners is the son of the guy who runs Safilo, the immense and actually very cool company that lisence’s eyewear for Burberry, Prada, D&G, you know… all those designers who now have their own collectible Barbie.

The thing is, the store is lovely and the boys who run it are hot. And apparently, well-inheriting. So scoot on down to Mercer.

[JANE KELTNER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Queen Nadine

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Nadine Haobsh, we adore you.

Elle beauty department, I owe you a drink for guessing right on this one.

And everyone who received calls from the Post yesterday and refused to divulge my identity, I owe you some major sample sale, secret concert, after party password dish.

Stay tuned.

[RAAKHEE MIRCHANDANI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Reunion

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

On Saint Marks and First, I spot a trio of handsome boys trekking East.

One is bull-shouldered and strutting, one is darkly slim and self aware, and the blonde in the middle wears a bright yellow tee from a well-known prep school that reads I’M A TEEN MILLIONAIRE in huge black letters on the back. I wonder what kind of asshole would wear that shirt. Then I run into the street.

“SEEKER!” I scream.

The yellow shirt whips around, and sure enough it’s him. His smirk is pinker from Riviera sun and wine, but otherwise he’s totally the same.

Forty minutes later the four of us - me, Boxer, The Seeker, and our friend Vinci* - sit crammed at a cafe table, having a makeshift tea party. As we scarf tarts and cold glasses of apricot ginseng nectar, we plot the summer. I don’t even remember what we said, except that it was familiar, and funny, and mean. Boxer describing various girls he’ll maybe call again. The Seeker making quiet jabs at Scout and Page Six and himself. Vinci trying desperately to be casual, even though we adore him for the opposite. Me eating slices of cupcake, zoned out and blissful.

In the cab back to work, we make plans to cannonball at The Seeker’s pool that night. Then it’s my street and the cab curbs and Boxer opens my door and says, “Hope you had a good lunch break.”

“Best ever,” I beam, sliding out of the cab. The boys wave from the windows, and I notice a streak of pink frosting on my skirt, which looks like a score mark on a baseball board. It melts as I walk three blocks back to work.

* We’re naming him Vinci because The Seeker and I wanted to name him Aviator, and Boxer wants to call him Chachi, so it’s like a compromise…

[EMMA FOREST - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Je T’Aimee

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Love this month’s cover of Paper, partly because despite near-violent protests from Scout, I adore the Black Eyed Peas, and partly because that Lacoste dress is a stylish sloppy second.

Who scored it first? Aimee Phillips, also featured in this month’s Paper pages, also spotted wearing it - in a neat little coincidence - at Paper’s party for Lacoste last month. And now it’s on the cover. On Fergie. And also on Aimee. In the cultural sushi pages.

Good thing Aimee was actually the girl who styled the cover!

[ALEXIS SWERDLOFF - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Prima Donnas

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Raise your hand if you remember when The Donnas were The ElectroCutes and they were in Drive Me Crazy with Adrian Grenier and you were like, wait, who are these girls?

Yeah, that was like, 6 years ago. Now they’ve faded, and new bands like Lillix have tried and failed to be just like them, and now all of a sudden, they’re back?

Witness their sudden appearance at the Hugo Boss party of all places last night. Granted the party was random - Tommy Lee, Rosario Dawson, and Annelise Peterson all on one windy rooftop - but the sight of four faded girls who haven’t yet hit vintage status was only slightly more twilight zone than the fact that there were more straight boys than gay boys at this thing.

Now they’re slated to perform at Spin’s Hudson Rocks concert tomorrow. With Okay Go. And I’m like, wow, if you show an episode of Dawson’s Creek in between their sets and throw some Abercrombie at the audience, you might just have a movement coming back too soon.

Come on and take it off.

[HILLARY BURTON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Skulls is Just a Movie

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

There’s a secret society called Bohemian Grove in California that requires a 25-year induction period before you can join. It’s at an estate in the Redlands, and basically if you’re in, you’re invincible. Just about every president has been a member, and curiously, Teddy Roosevelt #4 is vacationing there right now. Members are divided into “camps,” which are like your little families within the club. It’s for men only. It’s a big secret. But today at lunch, The Seeker told me all about it.

If I go missing in the next few days, I guess you’ll know who did it. Same goes for The Seeker. But if we vanish together, it’s because we’ve eloped, as promised.

[CHELSEA CLINTON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way…

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Heather and Bea and Mitra and I were walking past The Sunshine tonight on our way to Motor City, and there were two posters next to each other: one for Courteney Cox’s new movie Alpha Dog, and one for Lisa Kudrow’s new movie Happy Endings. Monica and Phoebe are getting so edgy!

[HANNAH KAUFFMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Farewell, Angelina…

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Jolie in NYC’s blog is officially missing.

This really worries me for several reasons:

1) It was a fabulous, so-fun blog.

2) I think she’s getting outed later today. In a very large, popular newspaper.

3) I think this newspaper is also a little too interested in this blog.

Stay tuned. And thanks, by the way, for being so obsessed.

[SARAH LEWITINN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

We’re On Break

Friday, July 15th, 2005

Guys, I feel like our relationship is moving too fast, too soon.

It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just that I know your heart is delicate, and I want to respect that, and so I think maybe we should chill out for a little while.

Like until Wednesday, when I come back from a much needed rest.

I tried to totally load the site today, so you could ration yourselves like kittens do when you load all their food in a bowl and take off for the Hamptons with someone else’s boyfriend.

In the meantime, email me good stuff (am.i@imaginarysocialite.com) and keep your eyes out for The Seeker, briefly back in the USA! Until Wednesday, kids.

xoxoxoxo The I.S.

[JADE JAGGER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Marty McFly is So My Guy

Friday, July 15th, 2005

To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: Liz

Dear I.S.,

I’m noticing that you may have a thing for the back to the future movies, and i don’t blame you. the second is by far the best, and i thought that even before i found out that my boyfriend is in the movie. yep! he’s in the 80’s cafe playing at the wild gunmen video
game along with elijah wood. elijah went on to become frodo, and my boyfriend is living with me in portland studying to be a high school history teacher. anyway, hope you get a kick out of that!

love liz.

That’s pretty cool, you’ve got to admit. Now everybody go to IMDB and look up this chick’s boyfriend…

[LEAH THOMPSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Bookworms

Friday, July 15th, 2005

What do Lauren Weissberger, Jane Larkworthy, Ali Wolfe, Danica Lo, Jill Kargman, Dana Vachon, Kara Jesella, Sarah Lewitinn, and now Thomas Onorato have in common?

No, it’s not a boyfriend.

It’s a slightly intimidating but incredibly coveted contract with an option for movie rights and a guarantee that we’ll have to go see them read something out loud at Barnes and Nobles really soon.

Congratulations Mr. T. At least, if the nighttime rumors are correct…

[VANESSA TRAINA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

MTV News Brief(ly)

Friday, July 15th, 2005

Serena Altschul is awesome. Really, truly, genuinely awesome. I hope CBS takes her off the evening news and puts her on the fucking Early Show. I would totally start watching it instead of Today.

You know who else loves Serena Altschul? Her boyfriend. He must, if he’s willing to haul her giant Burberry tote around and walk behind her when she’s working.

I need one of those… tote, I mean, not boyfriend.

[TABITHA SOREN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Lesson 6: How to Pretend You Were Somewhere That You Weren’t

Thursday, July 14th, 2005

1) Search Last Night’s Party, Cobra Snake, Patrick McMullan, Wire Image, or US Weekly for photos of the event. Make note of who, what, and wore - you know, their outfits. Do additional google research if necessary.

2) Pretend you are so hungover when you talk about it. Nobody will expect details.

3) The phrase, “wow, you looked beautiful!” always works. Then ask tons of questions about their outfit, their makeup routine, the whole deal. They’ll forget they didn’t see you.

4) When in doubt, say you met a guy.

5) When in more doubt, say you were busy in the bathroom with Lindsay.

6) Convince everyone you are Jessica Matlin, so whenever they see her at a party, they think you are too.

[KEISHA JOHNSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Misshapes vs. Cut: Showcase Showdown!

Thursday, July 14th, 2005

Just got an email from Patrick Rood, whom I adore, about a party this Saturday at Movida. Turns out the Cut boys are bringing their Larry Tee Electroclash magic and teaming up with Alexander Technique to throw a giant party. It’s got a $10 cover but it’s free if you mention Cut, and it’s on Leroy… right down the street from Misshapes.

Oh wait, Misshapes, that’s on Saturday too. And doesn’t Patrick usually work there? Is there a rumble brewing or is this going to be a super friendly party hop? Aren’t you just dying to know?

And as long as we’re on the subject, Leigh’s birthday is in two weeks. Start getting presents now. She likes shoes.

[DEVON AOKI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

I Can’t Win

Thursday, July 14th, 2005

Sorting through my texts from the past few days, lots of them saying “Where Are You?” Or, you know, “WHERE” or “WHERE R U” or whatever. Truth be told, I don’t even know. Here’s what I remember…

The sun is getting streaky and orange and Scout and Ellen are huddled outside Cafeteria wondering in disbelief if we really must wait 3o minutes for mac and cheese and cigarettes sitting down. Ellen wears a bikini top and a threadbare shirt and cowboy boots. I wear Scout’s jacket because I’m freezing. Ellen and I order the same thing, but she can’t eat the cheese, and Scout tells the same story, but Ellen hasn’t heard it so I pretend it’s new.

Then we talk weekend plans, which somehow turns into an intense discussion about Shakespeare, which somehow ends in me revealing that once upon a time, I wore a nightgown and a crown of flowers and starred as Queen of the Faeries. Scout puts his head in his lap because he can’t stop laughing. Ellen goes back to her salad. These women with a baby go by and I realize it’s amazing how close you can feel to someone without even knowing them.

And dangerous, too.

[MINNIE MORTIMER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]