Imaginary Socialite

Last night at dinner, Ellen told me I should start making things up. That way, she reasoned, it would be harder to figure out my identity.

We’ll pretend for a second that my identity is actually still a secret and take her advice – a little. Below is an Imaginary Socialite Quiz. Four items are real. One is not. Pony Up!

1) Fashion kids are worried Sean Combs’ spring ’06 show will run 3 hours long – like Marc Jacobs meets Baby Phat minus the directional style or metallic pink leopart print. And really, without that, what is fashion? Well, that and some bills for an ad campaign and its famous model that should have been paid a long time ago…

2) At the shoot for Karen Elson’s Dazed and Confused cover story, which hits stands in September, Jack White called the set twice, but never showed. Maybe he was too busy hanging out with his… um… sister. They dressed Karen in some vintage clothes resembling circus apparel. Which means, I think, Sonia Rykiel.

3) When actor Mike Pitt was 13, he took his mom’s drivers lisence to a film set and told them he was Brad Pitt’s cousin so he could meet his favorite actor. Brad Pitt was awesome and totally played along.

4) Courtney Taylor and The Seeker are now truly, madly, deeply in love.

Have fun.

[KERRY KATONA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Rarely do we reference another blog, but this is too good to pass up… According to Scout, our friend Trent at Pink is the New Blog is on a kickball team in D.C. And the name of Trent’s kickball team is Phil Collins.

Not only do we have this golden nugget of information, but we also know that if The Imaginary Socialite came out for the game, she would be picked dead last for a team.

Because she is so pretty and everybody would be jealous. Dammit.

[VERUCA SALT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Fun fact: Paris Hilton’s Sidekick got raided because the poor girl chose the most obvious password in the world for its login. Was it…

a) S-E-X-T-A-P-E
b) N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T
c) S-E-C-R-E-T-G-E-N-I-U-S
d) T-I-N-K-E-R-B-E-L-L

Indeed.

[STELLA SCHNABEL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Monday: AddVice and Virgin Atlantic throw the biggest bash you’ve ever seen. Unless nobody goes. But Josh Madden gets to DJ, so I think it’s safe to say that everyone’s going. Pick your outfit now.

Monday Again: Flaunt Mag throws a party at AER. If you’re openly gay as opposed to just confused, you may like this party slightly better than AddVice. You may also like it if you work for Flaunt.

Tuesday: Hugo Boss Roof Deck. Tommy Lee and Grand Master Flash take turns at the tables. This could be so cheesy, it turns cool. Especially if you take five or six hits from the open bar. And remember at the last party, when Tommy Lee and Pink started making out to prove her heterosexuality?

Tuesday Too: Kabul Nights, the Rebuild Afghanistan Foundation. Susan Shin is like the bride because she’s the chair, and Melissa Berkelhammer and Sessa Von Richthofen are the bridesmaids, aka the benefit committee. Except that Sessa’s actually getting married…

Wednesday: Nylon and I’m-n0t-drugged-out-I-just-can’t-read heartthrob Mike Pitt celebrate indie movies, indie music, and… um… really hot, really indifferent guys who may or may not be illiterate. Including Steve Aoki, the DJ. Don’t forget about him.

Thursday: you think I’ve thought about Thursday yet? Please. I’m still thinking about what to wear to dinner tonight, and that’s in like, 20 minutes.

[BEA CARDINEZ- AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Apparently, a lot of you are reading this site. Accordingly, a lot of you hate me. Here we go…

Dear Imaginary Socialite,

You think you’re so brilliant but you’re shitty and awful. You probably get paid by all these people to post this stuff. You are a twit.

Love love love,

Me.

Um…

Dear Me,

If people paid me to write this stuff, I’d be a lot nicer. You probably know that, since I’ve probably written about you. Or at least, stolen your boyfriend. What was your name again?

xoxo The I.S.

Then there are the people who think I’ll narrow it down…

Hey!

I don’t know why, but I feel like you work at Elle. No?

Elle? Why? Because a certain West Coast editor of a certain Hachette magazine passed around my URL to select members of the 44th floor of 1633 Broadway? And everybody wondered where it came from? I guess if you want to think about that that way…

And finally.

Dear I.S.

You’re really funny. Unless you actually mean it.

–Jess.

Mean it? Jess, I live it.

Keep them coming: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com

[ROBERTA MYERS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

I like that Virginia Smith used to be the VP of public relations for Calvin Klein before going to Vogue, because now Annelise Peterson from Vogue is going to be the new VP of public relations for Calvin Klein.

And symmetry is sort of conforting when your entire job depends on random things like aesthetics and trendspotting and who takes you to lunch where.

Speaking of, watch out for a newly promoted beauty editor who’s switching to the party beat, because (shhh) a well-known gossip girl hired specifically to get good stuff for the mag and its offspring can’t pull her weight.

Oh, the things I find out at 2 am…

[MELISSA LIEBLING- GOLDBERG - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

She’s hosting Charm School tonight at Marquee in honor of her supermodel-mommy Bebe Buell. Perhaps the DJ will play more Aerosmith than Usual. Perhaps instead they will play exclusively music from The Space Hogs, who are apparently an actual band.

Whatever the case, grab your favorite outfit from Some Odd Rubies and drench yourself in Givenchy perfume and brush up on your Elvish or at least the lyrics to That Thing You Do. Show up between 10am and 2pm, and you know what to do at the door…

Not into it? Try N.A., which is attempting to court the cooler-than-thou crowd with a new basement rock ‘n roll party every Monday, an open bar until 11, and my favorite girls – Sarah Lewitinn and Karen, aka The Tarts of Pleasure – spinning it out. At this door, just tell them you’re on the Tarts of Pleasure list and sail past Kimora Lee.

Get there early, get there often.

See you tonight!

[ELLEN HART - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Not that I ever want to talk about Tom Cruise, but he’s obsessed with Paper Denim & Cloth jeans – he ordered 250 pairs from the company’s publicist this month, and also sports a pair in War of the Worlds (or so says the costume designer, Joanna Johnston, who is awesome because she styled Back to the Future II).

But now there’s this huge publicity push from Earnest Sewn, founded by Paper refugee Scott Morrison (also awesome, despite his non-involvement in any Michael J. Fox movie…) about how Tom only wears their jeans. Earnestly, of course.

Which leads The Imaginary Socialite, among other fashion people, to wonder… is there some sort of war brewing between Paper Denim & Cloth and Earnest Sewn? Is Scott Morrison a closet Scientologist? Is it possible that Tom just likes both jeans?

Stay tuned. This is clearly a very important issue.

And in other denim news, the annual Diesel press trip to Italy leaves tomorrow morning. Be there or be… in the fashion closet, organizing your editor’s samples while they’re away!

[PAUL WITT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Hollywould’s Private Sample Sale this Wednesday Night. Here’s the (abridged) invite list:

Daisy Lewellyn
Nadine Johnson
Dani Stahl
Gillian Hearst Shaw
Hope Atherton
Kate Schelter
Melissa Berkelhammer
Annelise Peterson
Orla Healy
Paula Froelich
Serena Torrey
Anne Slowey
Meredith Melling Burke
Molly Rosen
Lucy Sykes
Alice Sykes
Elisa Lipsky Karasz
Rima Suqi
Danielle Pariser Levy
Toby Tucker

Also, bonus, the invitation says “The $25 bin includes samples (aka shoes that have probably walked the red carpet afoot of some famous celebrity)”.

How hard are you smiling right now? SO hard.

[ELISABETH GUTOWSKI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]