So, a little bit obnoxious and overeager, but… the girl does have a point.
don’t you think?
[JESS COEN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Archive for July, 2005
Truth and Beauty, All in Cute Wedge Heels
Monday, July 11th, 2005So Meta I Can’t Even Stand It
Sunday, July 10th, 2005Congrats to my favorite blogger, Jolie in NYC, for deciphering the anagram “Jaded Lemon = Joel Madden” first. The funny thing is, she doesn’t even know me.
But, she totally makes me blush…
Okay, I’m done now.
[LIZ FLAHIVE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
US Meekly
Sunday, July 10th, 2005Fun story from an editor at US Weekly. Although you know how accurate they’ve been lately, so who knows…
“So, this one time, we sent a reporter down to cover the red carpet at a movie premier. A certain bobbing starlet who starred in Cruel Intentions and Legally Blonde was there, and she actually went to high school with this reporter. She was really popular, and apparently absolutely horrible to this kid.
So the reporter says, “hey movie star, remember me from school?” And starts telling her everything she did to make the reporter’s life totally miserable.
Of course, she totally remembered the reporter, turned bright red, and then apologized profusely.”
Which is amazing, because if I were that starlet, I would have said, “wow, and you’re still a total tool,” before speaking only to Life & Style.
[EMILY VAN CAMP - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Swingers, Literally
Sunday, July 10th, 2005A monologue from Boxer:
“… I just can’t go out tonight, I’m so tired. Did I tell you what happened yesterday in Southampton? There was like this outdoor party, and I went with this girl, but then this other girl took me back to the swingset and took my pants off. I know. But she did. And so I was like, um, okay, maybe there should be privacy. So we climbed up the swingset to where there’s like that little hut on top of the slide. And we started having sex but then, um, we knocked down one of the walls. So everybody’s laughing except this girl. And… um… the one that I came to the party with. So I’m sorry, I’m exhausted and there’s no way I’m making it out tonight. I’m going to get some Chinese food and then go to Barnes and Nobles and try to pick up a little bookish girl. I’m in the mood for a really quiet night.”
Yes, really.
[ELEANOR FRIEDLANDER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Jaded Lemon
Sunday, July 10th, 2005Due to recent pop culture events, I’m starting to wonder if every celebrity couple is actually just a business arrangement. Which is so sad, because I used to like totally believe in true love. But now my whole foundation of romance has been thrown. I question everything.
I mean, what if Gwen Stefani actually didn’t love Gavin Rossdale, and was still in love with Tony, and only married Gavin because it made them both look so cool? What if Gwen is just like a totally tragic figure and Gavin is actually gay?
But then I feel better because, after all, my imagination is way bigger than reality.
Also, I’m still feeling really anagrammy, so if you rearrange the title of this post, you’ll get another pop-rock star, and maybe a prize if you guess right: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
[JESS MEISELS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
A Series of Awkward Events
Saturday, July 9th, 200512 noon.
Phone ringing.
Roll over.
Grab it.
This time it’s more complicated, because I’m mid-argument with Scout.
“Hey!” says The Seeker. “You’ll never guess what just happened.”
“Uh, neither will you,” I shoot.
“Oh, is this a bad time?”
“Pretty much.”
“Like, awkward?”
“Like, exactly.”
“Okay, well…” but he doesn’t hang up. Instead, he gives a five minute monologue on his night, a long raid of bars, bistros, and The Dandy Warhols at random spots in Paris. It’s amusing, and exciting, and halfway through, I give up and put The Seeker on speaker phone for Scout to hear.
We crash on his bed, making funny faces as The Seeker talks – and talks – about herding models and artists and designers and Courtney Taylor, and bringing them back to his hotel. The Seeker has Amy Sacco on speed dial and sometimes, like now, I think she should be taking notes. Sometimes I also think I should book a plane ticket and disappear to France until September.
Scout is dead silent, but suddenly The Seeker stops.
“Wait,” he asks, suddenly self-aware. “Are you with a guy?”
I laugh.
“Do you want me to call you back?”
I laugh more. My phone snaps shut.
“Okay,” says Scout, “he sounds awesome. And definitely not gay.”
I nod.
“So,” continues Scout. “Have you guys ever made out?”
“Nope.” I smile. “Why, do you think we should?”
Scout hits me with his pillow. We sit on his couch and eat Ben & Jerry’s out of the carton, with the blinds pulled tight and the clocks turned off.
[DAISY LOWE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Anagrammies
Friday, July 8th, 2005I’m rearranging people I might see tonight:
Sarah Lewitinn = Arsenal Within
Amanda Bynes = Bands man, yeah!
Boxer’s Real Name = Phosphoresce Hem Jilt. Which sort of makes sense, if you know him…
[NICOLE KRAUSS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Bon Matin, ma fille imaginaire
Friday, July 8th, 20059 am.
Phone ringing.
Roll over.
Grab it.
Almost turn to dust from the sudden sun on my face.
Then:
“Hey babe!” screams The Seeker, who sounds like he could be next to me even though he’s in France. A huge bummer. “Sorry to call so early, but you’ll never guess where I am.”
He’s right.
“I’m at the IOC couture show.”
“International Olympic Committee?”
“Imitation of Christ? My friend called me yesterday so I took the plane to Paris. It was actually pretty good, I was really impressed. The clothes were so delicate though, like, filmy. I’d be scared to have them shipped anywhere.”
“That’s okay. I’d be scared to wear them anywhere. But I hope it was worth the trip. Oh, and I saw that thing in Page Six…”
“It’s wrong,” he snaps. “Fucking bastard. But I’m coming back in a week. Do I get to see you?”
“Nope, I’ll be in Miami doing fashion stuff.”
“That sucks, babe.” It does. “Wanna come back early for me?” I do. We hang up the phone; I pull up my hair.
Last night, Scout saw The Seeker’s picture on MySpace and swore he was gay. I curled up on my floor and laughed at him.
About time, too.
[MARISA MILLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Wood You?
Thursday, July 7th, 2005I like the cover of this month’s Teen Vogue with Evan Rachel Wood, even though she’s not wearing a single stitch of Miu Miu, even though she’s starring in Miu Miu’s fall ad campaign.
Anyway, the cover reminded me of a funny story involving David Sedaris, who is awesome. David grew up in Durham, North Carolina, just like… drumroll… Evan Rachel Wood. When David was in high school, just like… drumroll… Evan Rachel Wood, he got a teeny tiny part in North Carolina’s first ever Shakespeare in the Park play. It was Hamlet and he played, like, a door.
David details his experiences in “Running With Scissors,” where he reveals that the director of this production was also the star was also the father of… drumroll… Evan Rachel Wood.
Seriously. Grab a copy and read all about it.
[NIKKI REED - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Cher and Dionne Do IM
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005just another girl: Describe yourself in one sentence.
Am I The IS: I am a total lush.
just another girl: hahah
Am I The IS: that’s for you!
[BRITTANY MURPHY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Bliss Full
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005Let’s take some time out to smile at our friends in Bliss, because – according to one little tipster – this is a fun portion of their employee application:
1. What does Bliss as a company mean to you? (in 2 sentences or less)
16. Why would I want to hire you over someone else? (respond in 2 sentences or less.)
21. If I gave you an orange crayon, what would you draw?
Okay, we can handle these…
1. Bliss means free spa treatments. Hello.
16. You want to hire me because I’ve got good blackmail shit on every beauty editor in New York and they’ll do whatever I say.
21. I would draw a Birkin bag because orange is Hermes’ signature color and it’s beautiful.
There, that wasn’t so hard…
[CASEY JOHNSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Rock n Roll Daughter Smackdown!
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005Because this is bothering me…
Peaches Geldof vs Sara Foster!
Name: Peaches
Dad: Bob Geldof
First Concert: Live Aid (original 1985 edition)
Hair: Fakish blonde
Siblings: Sister Fifi Trixibelle, 24, MTV UK intern. Sister Pixie, 14, BBC show “It’s a Girl Thing” host.
Media Queen Moments: Youngest guest on Tatler’s “Most Invited 2005″ list; Elle Girl and Teen Vogue columnist.
Hitting the Big Time: Peaches’ very own documentary, “Peaches Geldoff: The Teenage Mind,” hit the British Sky network this spring. A Jamie Johnson moment for sure…Name: Sara
Dad: David Foster
First Concert: Chicago, 1981
Hair: Fakish blonde
Siblings: Four sisters plus two toolish stepbrothers currently starring in “The Princes of Malibu” with her dad.
Media Queen Moments: Hosted “ET on MTV” until it got canned, starred in “The Big Bounce” with Owen Wilson
Hitting the Big Time: Got to guest-star as herself on “Entourage,” which is SO not fair…
[HEATHER MCCARTNEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Because Linda Wells is Mad Cool
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005So Filipa is amazing and going to Vogue and that means… drumroll… Allure needs a new accessories director! More importantly, it might mean that everyone in the fashion department will move up, and then they’ll need a new accessories assistant.
If you want to get in on this action, there are a few ways to go. I suggest using all of them.
1. Stella Angelakos in Conde Nast HR is Allure’s hiring manager. It’s firstname_lastname@condenast.com and they’re on the 12th floor of 4 Times Square.
2. Get a copy of the magazine, find the masthead, email the fashion director.
3. Marry Gilles Bensimon. Granted he doesn’t work for Conde Nast, but it’s a sure way to get a great job as an accessories director. Right?
As always, let me know how it goes. am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
[DIANA BYRNE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Throw This Party, Part Two
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005For real this time
“Please join us to celebrate the launch of Selima for Jack Spade Sunglasses at Pier 40…
A highly contested remote controlled boat race will occur at 8p, wagering is encouraged.”
Come on, who’s going to put money on toy boats with me? This is even better than M.A.C. Viva Glam!
[JORDAN DALY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Throw This Party
Monday, July 4th, 2005Right now. And invite me.
Don’t forget your towel. And don’t panic.
[PARKER POSEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]