Imaginary Socialite

Is there anyone Ellen can’t charm? Don’t think so. Behold her mini-monologue from last Sunday’s brunch:

“So I was at this showroom casting and – do you know what Marc Jacobs looks like? I mean, the casting was for Marc Jacobs and I think it was him; he went totally insane over [Ellen's dog, who is so unbearably cute that we must protect him by redacting his name]. He actually came over to us, and he was really nice and friendly.”

Aaah! I couldn’t stop smiling, and barely ate my vegan pancakes. Fortunately, Ellen and Leigh ate them for me.

After the meal, it rained so hard that everything I was trying to hold together washed away, and I ran home shaking in a soaked Petit Bateau t-shirt, with the sudden realization that nobody was coming with me.

[ALISON LANG - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

For your viewing pleasure:

In My Bag

Is this blog…

a) amazing, precise, and totally obsessed
b) kinda boring
c) therapy for a confused and snarled soul
d) secretly funded by the first floor of Bergdorf Goodman

[HEDY GOLD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: carryingkate@californiagirls.com

Dear I.S.,

Where have you been? And why are none of your posts about you this week? What’s up? Are you okay?

Love from Los Angeles.

Yeah….

I’m going to defer those questions, and instead go watch Instant Star, perhaps the best show on television. Go do the same, and we’ll dish later, when I know what the hell is going on with my life.

Seriously, Instant Star – is it sacrelidge if I say I might like it better than Entourage? Because I really, really might…

[ALEXZ JOHNSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Plan: We need some new boys. Let’s plot to get 007 to NYC for the weekend, and eventually, for good.

Any ideas?

[BROOKE TRAVIS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: Boxer

HIGH DRAMA. Laguna Beach has nothing on this. Ugh.

Seriously. What the fuck?

[STELLA KEITEL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Boxer calls and ten minutes later, we’re in Dumpling Man. It’s dangerous because you think you can eat it all. It’s also worth it to try.

We sit side-by-side, knees touching, pounding Vitamin Water and mixing our new favorite “sauce,” a rice vinegar and tobasco mash . I laugh at his Laguna Beach excuse for a love life. He laughs at my outfit, which is half Miu Miu (and therefore just Miu) and half a size too big. “Your back’s too skinny,” he says, peering over my halter. “I can see bones.” I shrug. He dumps three shrimp dumplings on my plate. They disappear, along with my smile. Boxer doesn’t notice.

“The guy who runs this place has moxie,” he says, dunking more dumplings and pointing to the cute kid behind the counter taking orders. “Plus, he keeps running back to the kitchen to kiss his mom. That’s pretty cool.”

As if on cue, the guy looks over and flashes us a smile. On auto-pilot, I smile back. Boxer beams and nudges me in the shin.

“Yeah, total moxie,” he repeats. “I bet that guy is one of those guys who’s either a really, honestly good and amazing and interesting and solid guy…. or he’s a total dick. And you don’t really know which. You know?”

Yeah, I do.

“I bet he’s a dick,” settles Boxer a second later.

I grin and feel my back, running my fingers over my shoulder blades. They’re sharper than before, and I wonder how long it will be before they can slice into someone and leave a mark.

[GRETCHEN MOL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Apparently, my readers in the Bay State were disturbed by my riff on Boston style.

I should be worried about boycotts or Sidekick hackings in revenge, but really, I’m just amazed that anyone in Massachusetts actually reads this.

Anyway, here’s a good little reprimand for me.

To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: mrsmillington@marygotmarried.com

Imaginary Socialite!

There are SOME Bostonians who like “directional” style.

If this chick is actually shopping in Boston and wants something not-boring, tell her to go to either Alan Bilzerian (only place in the city that sells Rick Owens — I just bought my first piece yesterday and have been
prancing around the house in it all day), Louis (ditto Proenza Schouler), Turtle, Stel’s, and/or Stil. Or is it Stel and Stil’s? I can never remember.

There’s also a small Barneys. Anyway, it’s not nearly as preppy-bad as it used to be here. Though if I see one more Herve-Chapelier-bag-and-Burberry-scarf combo I will vomit.

Mary

Well, that’s not so bad. If I see one more fauxhemian in big beads and too-expensive jeans, I’ll vomit, too.

Weight loss through bad fashion. Who knew?

[ELIZABETH SPIERS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Seeker has a meeting today with the Dali Lama and Robert Thurman in Paris.

Meanwhile, I saw Uma in Starbucks this morning, and realized the sooner I radically change my hair color, the better.

[LORRAINE MASSEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]