(hot off the presses from my new favorite pub, SuperSuper Magazine…)
The Samaritans have today recruited 600 extra staff to deal with an expected surge in calls as troubled fans come to terms with today’s revelations about rocker and teen icon Pete Doherty. In a surprise press conference today, the men behind Doherty’s career revealed themselves and admitted that the Libertines, Babyshambles, the tales of drug use, the armed robberies and the affair with supermodel Kate Moss have all been part of one of the largest hoaxes in British history.
The men behind the scandal - Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, who were themselves infamous popstars under the name The KLF - admitted how they plucked a young Buddy Holly impersonator Doherty from obscurity and made him a media darling. Mr Drummond called Britain’s pop-culture “sick” and said that although he regretted the hurt caused to Doherty’s many fans, he hoped “this incident taught us all some important things”.
“The plan involved proving three theories we have about current British society,” reads the statement. “The first is that in the so-called “alternative” scene, everybody is too scared of missing The Next Big Thing to worry about anything else.” Soon the buzz around The Libertines was so frenetic, journalists were falling over themselves to claim to have been at the front of every single fictional gig.”
How this affects the future career of Pete Doherty remains to be seen.
The Seeker: Hey, finally landed @ Heathrow. Wanna have dinner tonight?
Am I The IS: sure.
The Seeker: cool. it’s for Pete, so look skinny.
[CARL BARAT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?
For a second, my heart was going to explode with joy - no offense to Doherty or his fans, but the cult of personality surrounding him is kind of gross, plus it would add more fuel to scorching bonfire of amusing image fraud that started last month with Frey & Leroy. Oh, IS, how you tease me with your meta-humor!
lies are the juice of the imaginative. you though are unimaginative so stop lying……. rekees
So did he actually go to prison or is -was that all a pantomime too? If it is true that it`s nothing but a hoax,it may be funny to find they have difficulty actually convincing people.Or is the statement itself just a prank?either way i`d been wondering what the klf were up to……..didn`t they do the same thing with echo and the bunnymen in the eighties?
you naive clown
i can’t believe you actually fell for it
*rolls eyes*
some people are so fucking think