Apparently, I have been an irresponsible, wretched, seething bitch lately. Accordingly, I have checked myself into Imaginary Rehab for a little bit until I cool off and get it together. In the meantime, please name Rainbow Brite’s boyfriend.
[IT'S NOT DRUGS, I SWEAR]
It’s plastic for sure,
But is it Dior?
(okay, that sounds like a Kinks song chorus… anyone want to add a lyric?)
[L-O-L-A LOLA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Tete, 30
My stylist can beat up your stylist.
My tank is cheaper than your tank.
My raw tuna has less carbs than your raw tuna.
My crush is cooler than your crush.
For real.
[DMITRI GUTOV - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
and we always did feel the same
we just saw it
from a different
point of view
tangled up in blue…
[JOAN BAEZ - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
okay kids, show’s over, nothing to see here…
[THOMAS ONORATO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Just Another Girl: How’s the boy?
Am I The IS: Amazing, just left, so sad.
Just Another Girl: I’m glad I got to meet him; he was very cool.
Am I The IS: I know, I swear everyone else thinks I made him up.
Just Another Girl: Um, well, you are imaginary…
[SABINE HELLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Google.Co.Uk, awesome again.
[MIRO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
You know, I always thought she’d hit me for my Armani Collezioni peacoat instead…
(ps, 2 bags on the floor, one marc and one chloe… go to town)
[DONALD BAECHLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
One of my favorite theories is that if Andy Warhol were still alive, he would adore fake bags. He would collect them and line them up in his Factory, rows of almost-sames, shiny and splattered.
But Andy also said he thought beauty was in repetition, and then culled the weirdest, most diverse entourage ever assembled.
So maybe he would love these glasses and maybe he wouldn’t. I do, but I don’t know how much I’d pay for them…
[MARK SQUIRES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
From the Top Model trenches…
Danielle’s gap-toothed smile is
a) No worse than Tyra’s five finger forehead
b) Cool! (Hello, Wyf of Bath…)
c) Getting in the way of her CoverGirl Contract
d) Irrelevant; Joni’s going to win anyway.
(I’m bummed they’re making her fix it, though; I think it’s fine…)
[HILARY ST. CLAIRE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
RJ, 24
RJ became my fake boyfriend the first night we met. “People like it when cute kids get together,” he told me. “It makes them feel less cynical.”
We held hands at Marquee. We shared pasta at La Bottega. We tried on clothes at Bloomingdale’s. It was sweet.
Then I started having secret dates with someone else, a real boyfriend, and Mickey Boardman saw RJ and me at a dinner for Kelly O.
“She’s gonna leave you,” Mickey told him with a smile. “She won’t be your girlfriend anymore.”
I still am, but only his fake girlfriend, so you can crush on him all you want.
[CHUCK WOOLERY – AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?
You’re all so smart about handbags and parties, but I bet you can’t guess where I am right now…
[ANNABELL WHARTON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
They never told us on Reading Rainbow that Louis Vuittons were great library accessories.
Maybe if they had, we actually would have cared about My Side of the Mountain.
Alas, the Children’s Television Workshop never said that luxury french handbags were essential for learning.
And also, I never said this bag was real.
What do you think?
[MRS. BASIL E. FRANKWILER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Am I The Imaginary Socialite: So I know you can be underwhelmed, and I know you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
Indie Lauper: OMG, you are not…
Am I The IS: Come on, you know the next part. Lemme hear it, come on!
Indie Lauper: Um, I think in Europe you can! Hey, I like my sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Am I The IS: Well I love my sketchers!
Indie Lauper: That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack!
Am I The IS: No, but I did see the Prada skirts exhibit before like anyone else.
Indie Lauper: Aaah! Nice! I totally walked right into that one, didn’t I?
Am I The IS: Haha, yep. But it’s true, I don’t have a Prada backpack!
[LARISSA OLEYNICK - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
