To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: dressme@paperdollface.com
WANTED-
Female Fit Model
5′8 and taller
Top size: SM
Pant size: 24/25 thin 25/26
You should be an energetic, well humored, pretty fit model to greet guests, assist appointment preparations, and informally model collection items.
Please call or email me directly @ tiffany@mignonshowroom.com
[VANESSA CARLTON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
A monologue by Drew Elliott:
“And then when we were like sixteen, I came to New York and met up with Bryce. And we went shopping and I made her buy these incredible Prada shoes. It was the late ’90s so they were probably like $200, right? And we got back to her house and her mom got so angry. She said, Bryce, those shoes are so decadent, you have to go back into the city and return them right now. And then we did, and then I flew back home to Indiana, and my parents were like, Hi honey, did you have fun in New York? And I said yes, but Bryce had to return some Prada shoes and that was very sad. And they nodded like they understood, because of course it was heartbreaking. But also funny.”
[ELSA PERETTI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Angelica, 37 (yes, really)
Despite all appearances in this photo, Angelica is not…
a) Italian
b) Wearing a dress sold in a Meatpacking boutique
c) On Atkins
d) Completely oblivious to the guy checking her out at the next table…
Speaking of which, I do believe that Angelica is the first IS crush ever to already be married!
[ANDREW GN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: greg@starworksny.com
If you’re stilll looking for a summer internship, and you can receive college credit, please send your resume to me ASAP!!
The internship would be for Starworks, a unique agency that fuses the world of fashion with entertainment, and has established itself as a niche service providing highly innovative brand marketing, direct celebrity access, and intelligent celebrity brokering.
If interested, please send a BRIEF email to Greg, telling him why you are the perfect intern, along with a SHORT resume proving it. And sorry Samantha (and Emily, and Jessie, and…), but the internship is for college kids only…
xoxo IS
[JAMES WEDGE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Note: this monologue was inspired by The Princess Bride. Perhaps this will clue you in to exactly how big a dork I really am…
“Pwada. Mawk Jacobs and Pwada. A dweam wifin a dweam. First, the buttery butterscotchy Pwadaness of the bag; so supple; so sweet; so smoof wif the towtoise shell handle. Aww, Pwada.
Next, the itty bitty Mawk Jacobs cwutch inside of it. So dewicate. So intwicate. So totawy cwush worthy.
It cannot possibwy be weal. It is wike wove, and mawwiage. A dweam wifin a dweam…”
Inconceivable, I know.
[WALLACE SHAWN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Imaginary Socialite: Okay, so I don’t get Panic! At the Disco
XGurgX: Oh no, why?
Ultragrrrl: They’re so good!
XGurgX: They have great style.
Ultragrrrl: And such a great sound.
Imaginary Socialite: I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.
XGurgX: Think of it this way. They’re like the Vivienne Westwood of Emo.
Imaginary Socialite: Oh, so they walk around onstage in big poofy dresses and make their audience sign political petitions? And wear diamond devil horns?
Ultragrrrl: Um…
Imaginary Socialite: Maybe at their European concerts?
[ANN DEMEULEMEESTER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
This is Tomo
And this is her Sidekick, which was decked in Japan last year.
Any questions?
[TRUDIE STYLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Just before I moved, Rob and I held hands. We were lying in a North Carolina field, filthy and radiant and almost asleep. Beer-soaked hair. Stick-scraped legs. Slightly shredded hoodies and mud-mucked Vans. We were laughing and alone, and he rolled over to face me.
“I’m worried about you,” he said, and I shoved him. “No look, I am. You and me are the same. Our imaginations are amazing. We meet somene and we can dream about a whole future together, and that’s how people get hurt. The imagined future.”
He was totally right. When I dated the FBI guy and I thought, quietly, we would live in Soho and stay awake all night drinking milky tea. When I dated the lawyer and decided, in secret, we would give it all up and run an orange grove in Ibiza. But Rob forgot one thing: when you can imagine every possibility, none of them matter, and then you just stop caring.
Yesterday I saw this couple in the park, holding hands in the grass. They were boring, and together, and I wondered if they thought about each other when they were alone. Then my phone rang, a party, and outfit, and I promptly forgot all about it
[AMY REDFORD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Jordan would like to know if his Louis Vuitton cell phone case is real or fake. If you can assist him in his Quixotic quest for designer affirmation, please respond in the comments section below. Also, since Jordan will soon become a preeminate menswear designer, you might as well tell him what kind of cell phone case you would buy, so he can make it for you.
[ELISSA SANTISI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Found these dreamcatcher earrings on the corner of Mulberry and Prince (right next to the tall brick wall). They come in all kinds of colors and cost $10 each.
I love their Jewel-Goes-Through-Sienna’s-Closet vibe, and I also love that I was brave enough to haggle for an even better deal.
Why doesn’t that work at the YSL boutique?
[JOELY DAVIS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Dear Mr. Cunningham,
You are so obsessed with Martin. This is the third time you’ve used him in a spread. Where exactly do you park yourself, that you see him every single week? Please share; I will need to park myself there too, in rival skinny Hedi jeans…
xoxo IS
[EVE MacSWEENEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Okay - it’s a lazy long weekend, but I still have time to steal someone’s shoes for my own diabolical fashion purposes. Who got their stems swiped this weekend?
a) Sable Starr
b) Sarah Sophie Flicker
c) Selma Blair
d) Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
[FARYL ROBIN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The ’90s brought an influx of model-actors, and last year saw a slew of DJ-celebs, but now we enter a new era: scenester-stylists.
While Rachel Zoe dressed girls before she graced parties, Jake Brown is going backwards: first he was a party kid, and now, he’s telling Maja Andersson how to wear a halter. And writing about it, in the cover story.
I guess stylist-columnists is the next It combo on the list…
[LYNN COLLINS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
This photo was snapped, secretly, at a shoot for a popular French magazine. You’ll never guess the mag, so instead guess the girl on the left. Is she…
a) Carine’s old fashion assistant
b) A teen lingerie designer
c) A crillion ball trainee
d) Ivanka Trump.
[CONSTANCE WHITE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
K.K., 24
When your sample closet is worth more than your apartment, you tend to bend the rules. Here K.K. bends several: 1) it’s midnight and she’s leaving at 5 am for the Hamptons (for work!) 2) it’s summer and she’s eating carbs 3) it’s the middle of a very crowded bathroom with very bad lighting and she just doesn’t care.
In other words: cool.
[EVA CHOW - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
