Mommy Dearest: Hi honey, did you have a good day without me?
Am I The IS: Totally.
Mommy Dearest: What did you do?
Am I The IS: Drove to Target for the Tara Jarmon collection, which was icky, and then I watched a DVD of Blur Videos in your bathtub, read a biography of Suzy Parker and an Avedon retrospective catalogue, and then I called some friends in London and ate leftover plums, and now I’m listening to your old Beatles LPs upstairs. What did you do?
Mommy Dearest: Oh I decided to go to the Sugar Ray concert.
Mommy Dearest: Boy, he is really cute! I mean really!
Am I The IS: Uh huh. Did he sign your bra?
[ROBERT MELLIN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]