Imaginary Socialite

Just a reminder that Roland Mouret’s $99 dresses for Gap go onsale tomorrow morning. The dresses will only be sold at five NYC Gap stores, and doors open at 10 am. Whether this will cause a Stella-for-H&M riot, or merely a Nicky-for-Samantha-Thavasa blip remains to be seen, especially since the dresses are really cute but, um, a little bit Hogwarts, right?

Those left dress-less in the city can check out the sample sales for LAMB and Rachel Roy, also happening this week, and Diane Von Furstenberg, which starts next Tuesday… unless you work in the Conde building, in which case it starts next Monday, at 1 pm sharp!

[AGYNESS DEAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Women’s Wear reports today that Sienna Miller just started a fashion line with her sister, Savannah. To her credit, Savannah got top marks at St. Martins well before Sienna even met Jude Law, and her own resume includes stints with Shanghai Tang and Matthew Williamson.

Still, I really love the quote Sienna gives about launching her very own line: “I’m not about to become a brand — I won’t be releasing an album, perfume and knickers next year.”

So I guess launching jeans with Pepe and hyping the Kooba Sienna bag were just part of her acting process?

It’s okay Sienna – seriously, honestly, I would choose your perfume over the MK & A stuff in a heartbeat.

[DANIEL SCHULMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Gurj’s Dolce and Gabbana tote reminds me of that David LaChapelle photo with Mariah Carey and her rainbow colored ass. Seriously. This bag is juicy, and jumpy, and jubilant. It makes you dizzy, and fizzy, and fun.

I’m so in love with it that I’d almost spend the $900 it would take to snag one… and if it’s fake, well, wait a second – maybe that could be the first time ever that a faux actually looked better than the real deal.

Anyone know where to find one?

[ASHLEY TISDALE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Whose parents are these, and what are they wearing?

a) They are my parents and they are wearing their costumes for our synagogue’s annual play, The Wizard of Oy

b) They are Quinn’s parents and they are dressed for their annual Thanksgiving theme party, “Fairy Woodland Spectacular!”

c) They are Ultragrrrl’s parents and they lost a bet they made with Blender magazine.

d) The mom belongs to Jake Shears of The Scissor Sisters and the dad belongs to Gareth Pugh – no further explanation necessary.

click on the photo to find out!

[BEN STILLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

So which couple would you rather be:

the wiry black-clad one making out in the background, or the pointy heeled woman accompanied by her stalward LV check tote?

I guess that all depends on the bag’s origins – after all, love is hardly ever real, but neither are classically printed status bags…

Also, note to that couple: you’re sitting on a photo line, not on your bed at the Soho Grand – can you be a little bit less gross?

[HANNAH OLIVENESS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Dear Sidekick 3,

You have some catching up to do. In the past week alone, I saw the Juicy Couture sidekick on Heroes, Unscripted, and in US Weekly and like, ten blogs about Paris and Lindsay and Britney (and don’t even get me started on that one).

Getting seeded to Leigh Lezark was a very good start, but come on – can’t you be involved in a Grey’s Anatomy plot or something? Couldn’t some sorority pledge be forced to swallow it as part of an elaborate hazing stint, leaving Katherine Heigl and Justin Chambers to reunite over stomach pumping?

Talk to your agent and think about it. The Teen Vogue index should really be just the beginning for you.

xoxo IS

[CHRIS BEAM - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Perhaps its the lack of carbs going to my brain this morning, but I’m strangely convinced that L.A.M.B.’s new showroom model looks just like Jessica Joffe in the Banana Republic Ads. The flaming hair and the slitty eyes and the oddly beautiful asymmetry of the whole thing, plus the excessive use of a cinched waist…

Or, you know, this could just be my excuse to tell you about the L.A.M.B. sale coming up tomorrow – cash only, kids, because only Hollaback Girls have credit card machines.

[ANGELA CARTWRIGHT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Which designer’s clothes have routinely been swiped by stylists assistants this season? Desperate for a cool MisShapes outfit, the kids take the mini-dresses and oversize sweatshirts from the returns pile, wear them out, and then discreetly drop them back off with the rest of their returns in the morning.

Nobody’s gotten in trouble because all of the clothes have gotten back to their showroom in fabulous shape – so far…

[KELLIE OVERBEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

If everyone in New York with a Balenciaga motorcycle bag actually had a real motorcycle, there would be far less taxis in the city.

And if everyone in New York with a fake Balenciaga motorcycle bag had a real Balenciaga motorcycle bag… well, then there would be no more leather left in Italy, would there?

Saw this one at the Diesel pop up store…

[STANLEY TUCCI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

We met John Henry, 24, at Santa Fe, our favorite restaurant in Williamsburg…

John Henry: Hello, can I get you something to drink?

Gurj: Sure. Is it still happy hour?

John Henry: Sorry, it’s 9:30 and happy hour is only from 4 – 8.

Imaginary Socialite: But we’re really, really happy. Doesn’t that count?

John Henry: Uh sure, that counts – if you’re really, really happy then I can extend happy hour for you.

Gurj: OMG, that did not just work!

(huge crush, and best waiter ever, obviously)

[JANET RUSSO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Meanwhile on Avenue A: what in the world is this?!

[ANNE HEARST - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

What can you do with this denim wristlet from Dior?

a) Use it to cover your “self-harm” marks

b) Use it as a monkey collar

c) Use it as a nouveau version of the scrunchie

d) Wristlet? No way, that’s a mini skirt that John made just for Sasha!

[SAVANNA KNOOP - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

As requested, The Photoshop Files, Volume One – this should help you survive the afternoon sugar crash… or, you know, you could have some actual sugar…

[MERITT WEVER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

She may be modeling Galliano’s fall runway explosion, where clones of John stretched down the catwalk, but here it seems like Sasha is rocking her best Daniela Sea from The L Word imitation.

Then it’s on to Swashbuckle Sasha, as the dainty Moscow mademoiselle pillages the Paris Dior boutique for the latest in jolly rodger finery. Apparently dressing up like the a femme version or Orlando Bloom was a little too easy, so the stylists really dug in and came up with an incredible icon…

Shiver me timbers, babe.

[JERRY BRUCKHEIMER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]