Todd, 24
Because last night, I crammed myself into an art lecture on “the end of modernism,” and a woman started hissing at me for eating Twizzlers and then, wrongly, this famous philosopher compared Brillo boxes to Jesus. Todd’s fault.
Then I met one of my favorite painters ever. Also Todd’s fault.
Plus, he wears the t-shirt quite well.
[DAVID BOWIE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
[ELSIE KATZ - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
(okay, it’s more like the !WoWoW! crew, but still…)
Dazed and Confused wants new designers to feature on their website, where they also featured this hysterical bag fight.
If you’re young, broke, hopelessly talented, savagely self aware, and also undiscovered, drop them a line and tell them why you’re the greatest.
Please e-mail some examples of your current or future collections to Robbie@confused.co.uk
Or visit http://www.myspace.com/dazedeyespy
[CATHY EDWARDS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Oh, I want this Nikon Coolpix camera quite badly.
And I also want the Alice Temperley carrying case that holds it.
Except I’m afraid that I’ll mixtake the case for a makeup pouch one night while drunk, and get frustrated that instead of lipgloss, I’ve managed to extract something that can prove I need more lipgloss.
Also, slightly worried the case costs more than the camera, but maybe that’s part of the fun.
[JACQUETTA WHEELER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Dear Sean Combs,
I am in love with your new Don’t Buy a Lie campaign, which encourages people to play “Real or Fake” while shopping. It’s great to get young consumers so aware of counterfeit stuff, and it also reassures me of two big things:
1. If you don’t believe in lies, it means the trash-tastic girls in Danity Kane don’t have hair extensions or fake boobs or vocal help on their songs, right? Because that would be lying.
2. It also means that in their Chav-a-licious video, the Danity girls are sitting on real Louis Vuitton seats that have been custom installed in their convertible. Because if their fake, it contradicts your very helpful new website.
Right?
[DAISY GARNETT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Jenny, 27, says…
“And I didn’t really know how to get an internship, so I called information and I said, hi, can I have Marc Jacobs please? And then when someone picked up the phone, I was like, hi, do you need an intern? And I could hear them whispering, like, do we even have interns? Eventually they said, sure, come on down for an interview, and that’s how I became Marc Jacobs’ very first intern. Ever.”
But imagine her saying this in a Fran-Drescher-Nanny voice and you’ll get a better idea.
[MERILL MARKOE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
These shoes would fare badly at an airport security check, but they look rather lovely on tall boys in New York. Still, as you’ll notice at the toe-tip, they’re on the verge of self destructing.
Is it because they were made strictly for the Miu Miu fall runway, and not for actual street stomping?
Or.
Is it because they were bought at Timberland, given new laces and a glue gun treatment, and forced through the fashion rounds?
Guess away.
[JULIA SCHEERES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Who got Lambertson Truex bags as a Christmas present today?
a) Various Condé Nast executives
b) Kate Hudson’s nannies
c) Kate Moss’ agents
d) The Ruff Club kids
[PAUL McCARTHY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
It was a messy first date because I didn’t know how it happened. He smoked outside and said he liked my coat. I smiled and said I didn’t like cigarettes. Suddenly we were at dinner.
“You’re really lovely when you’re not so mean,” he said.
“You’re really cute when you don’t talk,” I replied.
He tried to hold my hand and then it started pouring. We were on the wrong side of Elizabeth Street and he said, “you’re cooler than me, you pick somewhere to go” and I had no idea.
We ducked into a doorway, which turned out to be magic. Inside was warm and tiny; it was packed with people but still quiet; it was almost midnight but still sunny in yellowed light. They served hot chocolate. We snagged the last two seats. He got me extra whipped cream and I got shy.
“You’re mean too,” I giggled, “you just get away with it because you have an accent.” He kicked my chair and we talked about nothing for two hours and it was better than okay. The next morning too. And then I got a text message.
“Moving back to Europe. Timing terrible.”
I still think he was lying, but even weirder: the place with the hot chocolate and the blue tiles and the quiet is gone. I can’t find it anywhere. And I’ve looked, but maybe the problem is, I’ve only looked alone?
[ALICE RAWSTHORN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Fashion gets buzzed (again): LG and Prada just struck a deal to make their very own cell phone.
Apparently, Diane doing the Sidekick and Dolce making the Razor were a little much for Miuccia, who realized – quite shrewdly – that she’s made so many cute cell phone cases, and absolutely nothing to put in them!
The phone hits Italy first, then France, Germany, and the UK – we won’t see it until Spring or Summer of 2007.
Oh well. At least there’s another sample sale in the works…
[SASHA PIVOVAROVA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Bright lights when the city sleeps
Shake it up just one more time ’cause you can… ’cause you can…
When I was young I put my hand under the cookie jar… my moma slapped it and she said you can’t… no you can’t…
You’re looking very pretty and I don’t mind, I don’t mind, no I don’t.
[LISA GERMANO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Cobi, 28.
Cobi is rugged and handsome, but that’s not it.
Cobi is wickedly smart, but that’s not it.
Cobi is California cool, but that’s not it.
Cobi makes the bunny t-shirt from Primp. And that is soooo it
[MATT LEE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Behold the scene from the Marc Jacobs sale, where the line out the door was longer than the Magnolia Cupcakes queue, and the heels were unstackable.
But check out the purple bag in the window, shoulder-slung on a shopper – is that really a Marc by Marc satchel? Or an imitation from Club Monaco?
And wouldn’t that be a little bit like a Dolly Parton impersonator showing up in Nashville? So weird.
[MINNIE MORTIMER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: ryaspry@yahoo.com
Dear Imaginary Socialite,
Your boy Matt and I are making a secret movie. Everyone’s going to be in it – Thomas and Sarah and Gurj and Quinn and so many beautiful, crazy, cool people that you can’t even stand it.
We start shooting tomorrow, Tuesday, and we would love an intern to help us out. They would need to be available downtown on nights and weekends, and they would have so much fun.
Matt is an award winning director whose last movie went to Cannes, and I’m a goofball, so you will learn tons. Interns only a two week commitment – can they email me if they’re interested?
xoxo Shruti
PS – you’re in the movie too, obviously.
[ABBY CORNISH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Adoring today’s Style.com piece vaguely inspired by Socialite Rank.
Some highlights:
*Mildly aligning Truman Capote and Derek Blasbeg.
*Including the words “haterade,” “BFF,” and “trashionista”.
*Repeated use of the word “swan” as adjective, noun, verb, clique label…
Click here to read the full story.
[CLIVE THOMPSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
