Niki, 25,
Niki is afraid of being on the internet, strange people knowing her last name, and the cold.
Strangely, she is not afraid of marshmallows catching on fire and engulfing an entire table of scenesters. She is also not afraid of junk food.
We like Niki, and apologize for fueling her fear of the world wide web with this post.
[JESSIE RANDALL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
(no, I didn’t actually compare myself to Stella McCartney, I’m just psyched).
[SUSANNAH GRANT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Hunger hurts, but I want it so bad that it kills
‘Cause I know I’m a mess you don’t wanna clean up
I got to fold ’cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works
When it costs too much to love.
[CAROLINE TRENTINI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
In Pinocchio, the puppet gets realer when he’s given his first present: a satchel for school with other, non-wooden, boys.
In New York, satchel status is much the same – you won’t be taken seriously without a decent bag, or at least a proper copy.
Which leads us to this MJ book bag, seen stashed on a sofa above Freeman’s restaurant.
Is it real? Is it fake? Take an educated guess.
[JOY BRYANT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Here’s a math problem for the many SAT preppers reading this site:
If this jacket from A.P.C. comes in a guy’s extra small, does that mean it can also fit a Size Six girl?
And if it’s from a French company, does that mean the jacket will already be thinner and smaller than something similar from an American brand?
And if a girl wears a skinny, slightly Brokeback men’s jacket over her slip dresses, will she look like one of the girls from The L Word?
Also, if the jacket is 40% off, is it worth the risk of buying online?
Please calculate, and fill in the little bubble with a number two pencil.
[MIGNON FOGARTY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Adam/ Atom, 19
Likes: Astronauts, Tintin, Little Plastic Dinosaurs
Loves: Chrystal, Vodka, Shiny Toy Guns
Looks: his age, a rare thing in this town.
Availability: Depends on who’s asking.
[LIVIA WHITERMORE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Save the animals. Scope the cute people. Scorch the dance floor. Scream for Ollie Stone. See you there!
[HEATHERMARY JACKSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
(inspired by actual events)
1. Eat cupcakes for breakfast with coffee and Willy Wonka sunglasses as you sit in a cafe window.
2. Sing ’90s pop songs naked in your bed while painting your nails black.
3. Read The History of Love and wonder if any 20something writer can create significant fiction without using Nazis as a plot device. Attempt to write such a piece of significant fiction on leftover computer paper. Play Bloc Party for inspiration.
4. Pledge never to drink again as you sit fully clothed in the bath. Break the pledge 10 hours later with your ex boyfriend and a video camera.
5. Make a Look Book on Style.com and share.
[MATT SALINGER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
New York has some pre-Fashion Week stories buried on their website, including a feature where Gemma Ward and Jess Stam are asked the same questions. Our favorite?
“In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?”
One of them says, “Drink coffee and read the paper while getting hair, makeup, and nails done, get undressed, get dressed, pose, leap, laugh, get undressed, eat lunch, touch-ups, get dressed, get undressed, get dressed. etc. etc. etc.”
The other one says, “I make clothes look good.”
Can you match the quote to the girl? Click here to test your model trivia.
[HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Perhaps the best part of Blue States Lose is the curious resurrection of the Teen Vogue LA photos. They were shot by Mark the Cobrasnake in September but seem to have just surfaced now…
Among some amazing shots – including one of Paris Hilton looking at herself in the mirror, another of Nicole staring strangely at her birthday cake, and a brief but beautiful snap of Jane Keltner – there are two photographs of Hills superhero Lisa Love… and one of Hills dilettante Lauren Conrad, who seems to actually be working – at least until the next frame of film, when she’s posing for the cameras again.
But to be fair, this is the fashion world. No matter who you are, “working” and “posing for the cameras” are usually synonymous…
[SHEPARD FAIREY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
This afternoon marks a milestone for Real or Fake Friday – we’re leaving the MySpace model pages behind.
Instead?
We’re moving onto starlets. Specifically to Michelle Tractenberg, whose offscreen fashion choices have lately been amazing.
Would someone who chooses Chanel slip dresses also choose “skeeterz” as a MySpace screen name?
Who knows…
[BRIAN LICHTENBERG - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Spotted on 37th St. between Seventh and Eighth – an American Peril pop-up store, which looks strikingly cool and sharply uncomfortable. Is this NYU performance art, or Hanes battling for t-shirt domination? Let us know.
[JEFREE STAR - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Questions:
If you’re freezing, exhausted, and basically taken hostage to a basement bar at midnight, can you tell the difference between an energy drink and a vodka soda?
If you whisper to the bartender that although your companions ordered you a vodka soda, it would be best to pour an energy drink into a glass and pretend, will he comply?
Will you abandon your shrieking table of kidnapping comrades to hang out with the cool bartender instead?
Please ask Jack, 23.
Fun fact: he is also Ana’s brother.
[RYOJI ISHIYOKA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
What makes you cooler than a role in Factory Girl?
A ThomBrowne.com email address.
If you want one, send a SHORT email to Kylie Case explaining why you (yes, you) are the ultimate Thom Browne intern/ assistant to help her with Fashion Week, and beyond.
You must be: stylish, patient, talented, a sharp listener, a great secret keeper, loyal, together, and willing to pull all nighters with Kylie and the rest of the TB staff.
UPDATE: The post has been filled by a loyal Imaginary Socialite reader. Stay tuned for more job listings; apparently they’re working…
[DAN MONICK - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The new Prada cell phone.
Advantage: it was built to fit into your Prada cell phone case.
Disadvantage: calling the store from your Prada cell phone won’t get you off any wait lists.
[ALEXANDER GIRARD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]