We haven’t played “Real or Fake” in a while, so I thought we should have a refresher course, starting with something simple:
The Chloe Paddington Bag.
Here it is, gleaming white and plunked on the floor like Tuesday’s recycling bin.
Is it made of biodegradable leather, or should it go with the Gatorade bottles in the plastic pile?
[PHILIP PULLMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To the girls getting shuffled into the HR department to become a certain assistant:
The position was filled last week, but for protocol, they’re seeing more candidates. When they tell you they need a week “to sleep on it,” that’s what it means.
To the girl who just got the certain assistant job:
Congratulations, and keep doing well - a line of girls is still stomping through HR, applying for a job you already have.
editor’s note: please don’t take the photo with this post so literally; the job is certainly not to be Meryl Streep’s assistant, nor any of her alter egos!
[GISELE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
I am so in love with this photo from last night’s Teletubbies party, I may have to frame it.
What’s the best part?
a) Leigh’s ultrafab dress
b) Geordon’s House of Holland t-shirt
c) Greg’s shouldn’t-work-but-does hair color
d) Hello, they’re standing with the Teletubbies! Now Greg’s hair is even more brilliant, because it’s the same color as Po!
[MARK THE COBRASNAKE IS A GENIUS FOR TAKING THIS PICTURE - IS HE THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Remember a few months ago, when we heard that teen girls were getting photographed for a Teen Vogue book?
It turns out the book wasn’t for TV, but for Flip, the Conde Nast sight that turns MySpace pages into eight grade slumber parties.
The booklet was sent to teen girls across the country, and shares some of Flip’s “typical” readers - all beautiful, precocious, and appropriately underage.
One of the girls has traveled to more countries than Coca Cola. Another girl is Milano Chow, the artist.
Our favorite?
Imaginary Intern Samantha, who says “there is nothing better than a perfect picture.”
Damn straight - we’ve taught her well.
[SOPHIE SAGAR - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
(click to enlarge the photo, and you’ll get it)
[PAUL CUPO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
This is the picture that we took at Nylon’s huge anniversary bash last week at the Gansevoort.
But can you find the picture that Nylon took of us?
Hints: we don’t wear sparkles, scarves by Alexander McQueen, or smeared black eyeliner.
Which basically eliminates all of the Nylon boys and maybe 50% of their girls, so the guessing is pretty easy.
[HAPPY BIRTHDAY NYLON - IMAGINARY SOCIALITE LOVES YOU!]
Good morning and welcome to the post of the vintage style icons.
[JIMMY WEBB - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
You’re mostly gone, but sometimes you come back in the corners.
Tea on the stove brings a flash of Starbucks, and I cry. Scribbling on my mirror sends my mind to those sneakers, and I cry. Sometimes when I’m dancing the air sprints from my body. My soul coughs hard.
It’s an every-few-weeks thing, but still.
On Tuesday I went to grab my heels on the shelf, the one that’s too tall. Something scraped and a sliver of wood slid into my hand and wouldn’t let go.
I tried to ignore it, but everything throbbed, so I warmed water with salt and I soaked.
It hurt like hell, so I went in turns. Five minutes in the water; five minutes to breathe. Finally the skin was soft enough to take the splinter out, and that hurt the worst - but only for a second. I thought I would cry but I didn’t. I cleaned up the blood.
Later I started shaking and couldn’t stop. I remember I did that once with you and you made me eat sugar. This time I fell asleep in a bath towel over the covers.
In the morning I was fine, I thought of you - three weeks since the last time, so the schedule stands.
And I realized this must be the way forgiveness goes: five minutes in hot water and five minutes to breathe, until the hurt that’s the worst comes out and then we’ll be gone from the corners of each other.
Of course, who knows where we’ll be instead.
[CATHY EDWARDS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
You’ve been smart with handbags, with shoes, with several Marc-by-Marc ripoffs from Forever 21, and even with MySpace profiles of baby supermodels.
But how are you guys with modern art?
I visited some galleries today in Soho and saw some installation pieces, including some outdoor sculpture.
Is this concoction the latest piece by Dash Snow?
Or is it, you know, garbage?
[CHRIS PINE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To the boys in the lifting room,
Please stop making loud sex noises every time you lift a heavy weight.
We are not impressed. Your grunts make you sound rather silly. And if you make that much of a fuss about an 80 lb barbell, we seriously doubt you’ll be able to handle 120 lbs of us in your bed.
Just so you know.
xoso IS.
The Newness: So my roommate has an interview with [big fashion director] today.
Am I The IS: Cool.
The Newness: Yeah. Do you think she’ll get it?
Am I The IS: I don’t know, I’ve never met her.
The Newness: Well she’s really nice. She went to Yale and she majored in psychology. She’s been an assistant at this other magazine for like a year and they really like her. Um, she knows a lot about literature…
Am I The IS: Okay.
Am I The IS: What bag did she bring to the interview?
[SHANE MEADOWS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The back of my Hermes notebook is covered in random quotes I’ve been meaning to post - mostly because they’re insane. Here’s the word purge, plus a question:
Which is the most ridiculous?
a) “It’s one thing to work for Vogue but it’s another thing to work for Anna Wintour!” - Whitney Port on The Hills
editor’s note: actually whitney, it’s the same thing, exactly.
b) “Madly grinning Englishmen milled around the loud little space, along with… lots of mid-level fashion assistants.” - Adam Platt in New York Magazine
editor’s note: adam, the PC terms for a “mid-level fashion assistant” are “associate fashion editor” and/or “socialite.”
c) “Don’t tell me you’ve been through a lot - I went to prison!” - Lil’ Kim to a contestant on that Pussycat Doll show
editor’s note: Lil’ Kim, we never really liked you. Now we officially love you.
d) “This is a dare” - the quote on Lauren Davis’ MySpace page
editor’s note: sorry, we’re not going to post her page on this site, but now you know she’s got one, so if you find it, tell us real or fake.
[DENISA DVORAKOVA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Dear Bluefly,
I am completely in love with the skirt on your website.
The problem?
You can’t click on it to buy.
I have no idea who made that gorgeous skirt. Maybe you don’t either.
Can anybody out there send help?!
xoxo IS
[LILY RAFFI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Imaginary Socialite: How was South By Southwest?
Like Dessert: It was cool. But I think it was cooler for [you know].
Imaginary Socialite: Oh no, what happened this time?
Like Dessert: Well somehow she met up with Kirsten and whoever that new boy is? And when she left for New York, she gave her all her tickets and VIP wrist bands.
Imaginary Socialite: That’s hysterical. Did she also get a ton of free Razorlight CDs?
Like Dessert: Ew.
Imaginary Socialite: This is so unsurprising, though. Remember when she toured with the Libertines?
Like Dessert: Yes. Of course the irony is, there were so many drugs on that tour, I don’t think she remembers.
[MIA TYLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Meet Your New Crush 254
Quinn’s Dad, 50
Special skills:
Freeing you from jail
Racing you on a motorcycle
Being the only cowboy in suburban Pennsylvania
Quinn’s dad is pictured here with a dress designed by Quinn and Zoe Buck, from TheseThreeThings
[SALLY TSENG - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]