We’re not sure whether Gawker’s predictions of FLiP.com gloom are true, but we do know this: some teen girls have way too much time on their hands, and the results are insane.
Our favorite i.e.?
“Katie Holmes’ Life in Photos,” a FLiP book by a Star obsessed youngster whose conspiracy theories on Suri, Katie’s hair, and Posh Spice are better than anything in US Weekly.
Click here to laugh very hard.
[CASSIDY LANGE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Dear Danny, whomever you are:
I found your iPod frozen to the sidewalk tonight on 11th Street and I rescued it. You were either drunk or riding your bike too fast, because this iPod was so soaked I thought it was broken.
Send me an email with its serial number and I’ll reunite you. Meanwhile, it’s having a blast dressing up as a fairy princess in my apartment. I think my iPod is jealous because yours is thinner.
Also, Danny, your taste in music is… awful. The All American Rejects should be a garnish, not 40% of your music collection.
When you get your iPod back, it has some new songs on it by this great new band called Radiohead? And Bloc Party? My Morning Jacket? They’re going to change your life. Seriously.
xoxo IS
[RYAN SEACREST - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
All you need is your own imagination
So use it, that’s what it’s for
Go inside, for your finest inspiration
Your dreams will open the door… It makes no difference…
[LIAM McMULLAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Surfing through DirtyDirtyDancing last night and there’s this bag.
Either the club kids colored all over it because it was fake and worthless without some decoration.
Or it was real and slowly slipping towards chav heaven.
I have no idea if it’s real or fake, but if you or your friends did this, fess up.
And the rest of you, guess!
[JULIE DELPY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Now that Degrassi star Stacy Farber is a Nylon intern, there’s no telling where the underage actress will appear – our guesses include Ruff Club and anywhere that sells Urban Decay Eyeliner.
You can get Stacy trivia courtesy of the new Degrassi BTW, like Pop Up Video but even more fun and useless – and leading to today’s quiz…
Which supermodel once appeared on Degrassi?
a) Cindy Crawford
b) Jessica Stam
c) Shalom Harlow
d) Coco Rocha
[DAVID LOWE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Laura, 26
There is something so lovely about a thin girl who invites you out to pasta, then gives you a sex toy from Agent Provocateur.
“It’s not allowed on boys who tell you they want a relationship, then bail the next morning with a MySpace message.”
Which is why we now have a crush on Laura, and not on the boy (anymore).
[AVRIL LEVIGN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Cory Kennedy: OMG I just found out that Marc Jacobs is in rehab!!!!
Imaginary Socialite: Unfortunately it’s drugs. He was in rehab once before, in the ’90s. Anna Wintour checked him in. This time I think it was the Louis Vuitton people.
Cory Kennedy: I knew something was up, he was so thin.
Imaginary Socialite: He’s supposed to recover in a few weeks and hopefully go back to work on the collections.
Cory Kennedy: He’ll be fine. He’s a tough cookie.
Imaginary Socialite: It’s funny.
Imaginary Socialite: After the show, this editor was like “Really? Those were the clothes? That’s it? Is he on drugs?”
Cory Kennedy: Oops.
[JENNY SWEENEY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
[MAMIE GUMMER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Trish Romano is still obsessed with Sarah.
Proof?
The cover story – really – examining her place in the music scene, courtesy of this week’s Village Voice.
We adore Sarah, and we’ll gladly plow through five pages of information on her, but really, we’re also a little weirded out… also, we’re wondering why the article mentions how well the Horrors are doing, but doesn’t hype Young Love’s MTV coup or the way whenever you mention the Oohlas, a group of seventeen year old girls starts to shriek.
Of course, if this makes more Converse kids rush the Stolen Transmission showcase at South by Southwest this week, it’s all for a good cause.
[DAVE EGGERS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Jordan and Ciara are on The Sartorialist!
OMG
OMG
OMG
Amazing. This means Jordan is out of hibernation, a big deal. And also: The Sartorialist is shooting in my neighborhood, so it’s time to break out the purple tights and the Prada wedges.
Heels only happen when you know you’re being photographed.
Hello.
[WEEJEE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
It starts with a rescue maneuver – the East Coast blonde gets tackled by the Southern blonde, with me in the middle to referee. This is during appetizers.
“Are you friends with Amanda?” etc.
“If I had to have a job like you, I would…” etc.
The East Coaster is getting creamed, so I swoop.
“I like your dress,” I tell the Southern girl, a distraction. “It reminds me of my mom’s old stuff, from the ’70s.”
“Cool,” she smiles and my friend slinks back to the boys, home free. Of course, now I’m stuck.
“I love my mom’s old clothes!” she smiles harder and wider, a chomp of a grin. “In my family, clothes are a really big deal. I mean, looks are a really big deal. Like, if you show up to a family function? And you don’t look good? Everyone will like, talk about how you don’t fit in. For days.”
“Wow,” I answer, eyeing the vodka. “I don’t think I would ever show up at a family party if it were like that.”
“Yeah,” she nods, her eyes halfway between sympathy and glitter. “I mean, if I weren’t pretty, I wouldn’t show up either.”
I start laughing and can’t stop, and everyone thinks it’s the wine.
[ALLE FISTER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
To: am.i@imaginarysocialite.com
From: BikiniKill@TheStandard.com
A super-hip new concept salon is seeking trendy New Yorkers for portraits to decorate the salon. Interesting hair-dos and unique clothing style a must!
Ages 5-35 wanted. Must be available for a 2-hour shoot on Saturday March 17th at a photo studio in NYC.
Hair salon will own the rights to the images. Chosen participants will receive a print of the portrait as well as two free haircuts.
Please submit low-resolution images of yourself along with contact information to casting@alexiszipp.com. Stylish couples, quirky groups and funky families welcome!
For those of you who were thisclose to the Uniqlo job…
[VIDAL SASSOON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Eric, 25
Deitch baby
Disco boogied
Drama based
Dream boat
Also: he does a mean Ethel Merman.
[SHANNON WOODARD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Am I The IS: Okay I have this theory that I think only you can understand.
I Love My Guitar: Go for it.
Am I The IS: Do you think that Tom Brady is the new Lisa Moorish?
I Love My Guitar:I Love My Guitar: Okay no. No idea what you’re saying.
Am I The IS: Okay, so. In the ’90s, Lisa Moorish has Liam Gallagher’s daughter, and then a few years later, she has Pete Doherty’s son. So Liam Gallagher’s daughter and Pete Doherty’s son are brother and sister, which is so out of control.
I Love My Guitar: Yeaaaah….
Am I The IS: So now, Bridget Moynahan is pregnant with Tom Brady’s baby. And if Gisele is also pregnant with his baby, that means that Bridget Moynahan’s kid and Gisele’s kid will also be brother and sister!
I Love My Guitar: Yeah. Except the Liam/ Pete sibling thing is like, fascinating and insane. And the Tom Brady thing is just…
Am I The IS: Totally and completely boring.
I Love My Guitar: Pretty much. They’re so pretty it’s boring.
Am I The IS: Ok. Maybe Gisele’s kid will come with angel wings.
I Love My Guitar: No. Probably not.
[PIPER PERABO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Two crushes for ’80s kids, but one has way better clothes… thanks Quinn!
Runners Up: Marimekko is not Murakami, You Can Be My Yoko Ono (Bare Naked Ladies) is not I Won’t Be Your Yoko Ono (Dar Williams) – for all the super nerdy music kids…