Archive for July, 2007

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

The skateboard pulls up to me as if it were a dented Mustang, and out climbs a blonde.

“Hey,” he sniffs, “Got a cigarette?”

“Never,” I answer, and he nods.

“That’s okay. I just wanted an excuse to talk.”

I keep walking. He steps off his board. Without it we stand the same height, but I’m in four-inch Marcs.

“Scared?” he asks.

He wishes. It’s morning on 9th, and my heel could dent his neck in seconds. It would be fun to tell him so, but instead:

“Not at all.”

“Cool… Well my band just got a record deal and…”

And his face cracks at the forehead, the way the Grand Canyon does in dryness. It happens with people too, when they finally kick the heroin shaking their skin. I check his eyes for confirmation; black with blue pupils, a sureness.

“Are you out of rehab?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says. “That’s why the band got back together.”

“Are you sure? Because rolling up to some girl in the middle of the street…”

Not drugs,” he pushes, “Just charisma. Come see us play? Someone needs to root for the drummer. It’s on August… wait.”

He reaches up and grabs my face and his hands are huge; cracked like his face but still. They graze my cheek and pull away.

“Eyelash,” he says and shows me his thumb, gigantic and streaked with my shadow. “You want the wish?”

“No,” I shrug, “It’s yours.”

Two hours later I look down at my iPod, and realize I don’t remember the name of his band.

[ALISON SUDOL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Meet Your New Crush 264

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Mike Nouveau, 23

You may think you have a crush on Mike because of his rehab jeans.

You may think you have a crush on Mike because of his sideways bangs.

You may think you have a crush on Mike because of his swarmed DJ booth.

But you don’t even know what a crush is until you hitch a ride with Mike on his Vespa. So try and do that, and then we’ll talk.

[MAX FARAGO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Leviticus Is Not Levicorpus

Friday, July 27th, 2007

Fellow secret geeks out there, this is for you.

[REBECCA WEINBERG - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

P.S. I Love You

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

For those trying to get in touch:

We’ve changed our email.

It’s imaginarysocialite@gmail.com

And now that you know that, you can send us fun candies like this:

Allure needs a PR manager, in case you know anybody.

They need a new cover girl too, unless you want to look at Catherine Zeta Jones on your lap for an hour, when you’re already traumatized because you’re sitting on a fire escape, getting your hair chopped off by Gemma’s stylist.”

Hey - how did you know about that?

And anyway, we were reading Dazed

[J. COURTNEY SULLIVAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Real or Fake: Are You Shore?

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Somebody (who may have been me) took this giant leather Kate Spade to the beach.

It was assaulted by a frisbee, probed by a seagull, and penetrated rather violently by someone’s boyfriend’s puppy.

So.

Is it just a casualty of Canal Street?

Or has someone (who might be) decided that Kate Spade’s moment has eroded?

Pity, since the ’90s seem to be back for Fall…

you can click the photo to see if it’s real.

[SONIA RACHLINE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

… And Now it Gets a Fan Base

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Things that are invincible:

*Whomever obtains The Deathly Hallows

*Those blinking stars from Mario Brothers

*Claire on Heroes

*Pete Doherty in a court of law

*This dress? Or is it just extremely resilient in the face of good taste and overkill?

Decide for yourself as you look at this, a shot taken from McCarren Pool, where Cat Power had to shield her eyes from the primary colored glare…

[HOUDA REMITA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Case of the Famous Ad Kids

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Page Six inventories the cast of Cavalli’s new H&M ads.

In them:

Theo Richards (daughter of Keith)
Lydia Hearst (granddaughter of William Randolph)
Devon Aoki (whose dad owns The Sizzler, with soy sauce)

And Terry Richardson will be the flasher, though the kind with the Nikon, not the trench coat.

What’s funny?

There’s another campaign, also with Terry Richardson, that stars an anonymous child of a similar pedigree. It hits billboards this fall, but of course, we know about it now.

Do you?

and that’s Alexandra Richards, in a 2006 Abercrombie campaign, at right

[CARLA BRUNI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Meet Your New Crush 263

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Alana, 22

We have a crush on Alana because she told us, over blaring music, that we were the best writers ever, that she read our site religiously, and that she and her friends in California would talk about it all the time.

But.

You should have a crush on Alana because she’s really hot.

Okay?

[JESSIE HU - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Russian Debutante’s Handbook

Friday, July 13th, 2007

Act Thirteen, in which The Imaginary Socialite and The Sister Goddess leave a very fancy party that wasn’t supposed to be.

TSG: You didn’t tell me it was going to be like that.

Imaginary Socialite: I didn’t know.

TSG: “Do you want to borrow my Louboutins?”

Imaginary Socialite: I told you, I didn’t know. And anyway, I love my jellies from Duane Read.

TSG: They were actually pretty chic… Her apartment is so massive! And she doesn’t have a job?

Imaginary Socialite: No. She paints sometimes. And watches Dawsons reruns.

TSG: I’m so jealous. My inheritance is just big enough so that I don’t have to work. But my apartment is tiny!

Imaginary Socialite: And on the edge of the Park…

TSG: It doesn’t matter, I barely have a bedroom.

Imaginary Socialite: Right. Well, meanwhile, I actually have to work…

TSG: Yes, but you’re so good at it!

[EVANNA LYNCH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Real or Fake: The Bag of a Lifetime

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

The perils of taking Chanel to a Nu Rave BBQ:

Getting attacked by mustard (stained)

Getting attacked by male models (stolen)

Getting attacked by Monkey (ripped)

Of course, there are some benefits too, like looking extra cute in your Junk Mag photo, getting air kissed by Geordon just because of your bag, and keeping up with Agyness to the best of your ability.

Or it could just be fake.

[PETER MILES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Coming Clean

Monday, July 9th, 2007

Things to think about under someone else’s umbrella:

*How Rihanna is great, but the ultimate caught-in-the-rain song is Bus Stop by The Hollies.

*How the only time you can really pull off Wellies and nothing else is in a London hotel room.

*How fun it would be to stand somewhere in the world where you could actually drink the rainwater (The Outback? The Amazon?), holding a giant empty Volvic bottle up to the sky.

*How John From Cincinatti is so far stupid, but could be incredible.

*How in the world they’re still together, and why in the world you’re still not.

[CHRISTIANE JOY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Meet Your New Crush 262

Monday, July 9th, 2007

Joao, 22, comes from Brazil with a reminder:

To the cute single girls with bikini-ready bodies and a pile of unworthy exes remembering your hotness:

Summer’s packed with lovely foreign visitors, who swoop into Brooklyn for art classes (if you’re lucky), or bank consultations (if you’re really lucky), or english lessons (if you’ve been blessed from above).

They stay for three months, which is just long enough to learn they have feelings.

They are the sweetest. Go meet one. Or several, if you have summer Fridays and can juggle multiple tanlines.

[AARON ECKHART - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

…You Probably Think This Blog is About You

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

Coffee Is Love: I’m so embarrassed.

Am I The IS: Oh no, is your sex tape on YouTube?

Coffee Is Love: Funny. I was at Joe today with my espresso, and all of these girls kept staring at me.

Am I The IS: Aww.

Coffee Is Love: I was wearing my new shirt from J. Lindbergh and I left a button open and I was like, wow, this is an amazing shirt. The girls would not stop looking at me. And the guys too!

Am I The IS: Did you buy another one?

Coffee Is Love: No, because then I looked next to me, and I realized what all the girls were staring at.

Am I The IS: Not you?

Coffee Is Love: No. Jake Gyllenhaal.

Am I The IS: Haha! Ouch. Well, if I’d have been there, I would have totally stared at you.

Coffee Is Love: That’s sweet. And you wouldn’t have.

Am I The IS: No. Not at all. But I love you anyway.

Coffee Is Love: But you love Jake more.

Am I The IS: Yes. Sorry.

[TOM HATHAWAY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Real or Fake: Brunch Edition

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

Spotted on a St. Marks stoop, mere inches from eggs and champagne and wafts of hungover models, who smell a lot like Marc Jacobs’ first perfume…

Sundress by Forever 21.

Bag by YSL.

Is this an ultimate case of high-low mixology?

Or just another example of fashion that’s even more tragic than The O.C.’s demise?

Place your bets, please.

[STEPHANE ROLLAND - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Would You Like To Play Again?

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

This is why events unnerve me

They find it all, a different story

Notice whom for wheels are turning

Turn again and turn towards this time

[TATIANA SAPOKKO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]