Fashion Week Casting starts now, and the streets teem with teams of Stam impersonators. This is how it goes…
Hunger is not a morning person, and neither am I.
Dragging myself out of bed is doubled pain:
First I’ve got to drown in the shower, then I’ve got to eat something - which usually means I swallow a gag before gulping the eggs, the toast, the cereal.
Don’t get me wrong - at lunch and dinner, I eat like a teenage boy at soccer camp. It’s just the mornings I can’t stomach.
Lately though, the solution is easy: Sip a protein drink, plus a cup of soy milk, and I’m set.
Except this morning, when I had no cash for the Deli, and had to go to MetroMart, where they take my AmEx.
“Hi, I need a protein drink?” I ask the counter.
“Okay, yes, this way,” says the guy in the apron, in an accent.
He leads me past the OJ, past the Quik, past the yogurt circles.
“Here, this is what you like,” he says, slowly, as if it’s a new phrase.
I look up and see where he’s leading me.
A wall of stacked cans, all of them Slimfast.
The good news:
I buy two bags of Fritos instead. They’re way easier to eat than cereal.
[MICKI SCHNEIDER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Haha, that is horrible. you took it so gracefully. But honestly slimfast sends cans to starving children in third world nations, so it wasn’t necessarily an insult of any sort…
hahah
I certainly hope they were Chili Cheese Fritos.