“I’m the type who’d be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure
I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn’t going to.
I’m the type who’d like to sit home and watch every party that I’m invited to
on a monitor in my bedroom.” –Andy Warhol
[PENNY MARSHALL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Mommy Dearest: …and that’s how your aunt and uncle met.
Poppa Art: He’d been coming to family dinners for years with Paula, but one day, he and your aunt came home and it was like, poof, they were dating.
Mommy Dearest: But he lived in Connecticut and so whenever your aunt would go down from the City, your grandmother would say, “He must have an awfully big apartment if he has room for you.”
Poppa Art: But of course, she knew what was going on. It was like an arranged marriage.
Mommy Dearest: What are you talking about? It was not an arranged marriage!
Poppa Art: Okay fine, it wasn’t.
Mommy Dearest: I mean, maybe it was a deranged marriage, but that was it.
[PAM IORIO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Pop Magazine.
Pop Champagne.
Popcorn.
Pop music.
Poppa Smurf.
Pop Serious. Go take a trip…
[HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLEN HART!]
We are so furious there’s no new Gossip Girl tonight, we’ve made a mix CD in protest:
1. Pillbox Hat by Bob Dylan.
2. The Kids Are All Fucked Up by Cobra Starship.
3. Like Anything, It’s Small by Shelley Short.
4. Under the Gun by The Killers.
5. Joanna III, Sweeney Todd.
6. Heavy Lifting, by Ambulance LTD.
7. 1234, by Feist.
8. That’s The Way, by Led Zepplin.
9. Love Song, by Sarah Bareilles.
10. Lola, by The Kinks.
11. Stop, by The Spice Girls.
12. Love Is Colder Than Death, by The Virgins.
13. The Ocean, by Dar Williams.
14. Dry Town, by Miranda Lambert.
15. Paper Hearts, by Moving Units.
16. I Wanna Be Sedated, by The Ramones.
17. Paint It Black, by The Rolling Stones.
[RAWSON MARSHAL THURBER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
ps, yes, fine, that’s Blake Lively herself, with ELLE’s Carol Han (on one of our many adventures)
To: imaginarysocialite@gmail.com
From: PrettyPretty@makeup.com
Dear Imaginary Socialite,
I work at [big cosmetics company] and my boss was in a meeting today about Ellen Page and a possible contract.
They’re waiting to see the Oscar nominations before they extend an offer.
I think they should do it anyway because she has such perfect skin, which is what they need to sell [their trademark product].
But what do I know – I still order everyone’s salad.
[MIRANDA COSGROVE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Well, you look so pretty in it
Honey, can I jump on it sometime?
Yes, I just wanna see if it’s really that expensive kind
You know, it balances on your head just like a mattress on a bottle of wine…
[TIA BROWSCH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The only reason we’re on Facebook is to play Scrabble, but that doesn’t stop us from getting the occasional friend request. While we’re gladly and actually Facebook buds with Times editors, real socialites, and the occasional DJ crush, we’re not sure how we feel about models.
It’s not that we think those girls are fake (usually) it’s just that their Facebook and MySpace pages usually are… aren’t they?
Like the real Julia Dunstall would ever put her Style.com pic on her Profile…
At Friday’s art opening, I saw a boy with cocaine on his eyelashes.
Also it was smeared in his beard, but the eyelashes got the most attention, at least from me, because it looked like cake decoration, like little light dots of bright white that blinked.
Accordingly, his talk was manic – winters, birthdays, races, sleep.
My first thought:
This is what I don’t say when I sigh there’s nobody to date.
My second thought: His messy face cost more than my handbag.
Some cities…
[JOHN HILCOAT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
I love designer nail polish but I’m not sure you should pay for it.
Thankfully, the Nylon babes invented a way for you to steal it.
Just send Fiorella a dirty joke for your chance to win a bottle of Dior Blue Poison polish, which you can then use for a designer manicure.
Okay really, you can use it to make your friends jealous and to look really current and well-traveled, since this color isn’t available to buy in the U.S.
Not that we haven’t tried smuggling it in from Basque…
[JULIA DUNSTALL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Prada cashmere sweater, $80 at the Prada sample sale (2004)
Longchamp bag, $80 at Longchamp in Paris (2002)
Cosabella bra, $14.99 at TJ Maxx (2007)
American Eagle undies, $6 at the mall (2002)
Betsey Johnson socks, from Fashion Week goody bag, 2007
Converse sneakers, from Converse PR rep, 2007
Marc Jacobs amber perfume, from MJ after party, 2006
NARS lip gloss, from Zac Posen goody bag, 2007
Charlotte Ronson creme blush, from C. Ronson store party, 2007
Pout eyeshadow, stolen from Victoria’s Secret model at photo shoot, 2007
Benefit Tinted Moisturizer, from my mom.
[GUCCI WESTMAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Obsessively reading WWD is an Imaginary Requirement, but sometimes their copy editors do things that cause the giggles:
For instance, labeling Maybelline’s sexiest model as “Adriana Lama” in a recent photo caption.
Sadly, it’s just a typo and not a new model -
Adriana Lama – or even better, Adriana Llama – would probably come out with her own cashmere line, eat only leafy greens, hail from Peru, and also only speak one word:
Baaaa.
If only!
[ADAM RUGGIERIO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
For those of you who are new / forgetful / exhausted, here’s a quick reminder of how to get in touch with The Imaginary Socialite…
1 – Inbox Us. Our new email is imaginarysocialite@gmail.com.
2 – Comment. Just click on the bottom of a post and rant away.
3 – Throw a really good party. One with an amazing soundtrack, a train-able location, a handful of eligible non-ickiness, and maybe some Kit Kats. We’re horrible suckers for Kit Kats.
But not so much for cats, in general.
[ALICE DELLAL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
This season’s designer collections prove plastics make perfect, but they also make a lot of fakes.
Today’s classic example is this shiny Chanel ring, with an authenticity as hotly questioned as Tom + Katie’s holy union.
Some context:
This one was spotted upstairs at Whole Foods, which can mean one of two things:
a) If the person wearing it can afford a $6 organic baguette, they can probably afford a designer bauble.
b) If the person wearing it is buying a $6 organic baguette, they don’t have anything left for fashion!
Pick and choose…
[CARLA BRUNI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
PS – you can click on the image for the answer!
Tammy, 21+++
Stylist for…
a) Coco.
b) Daria.
c) Stam.
d) All of the above (yes).
[MONICA CORCORAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Am I The IS: Is it too late to think about Halloween?
Indie Lauper: Depends. By “Halloween,” do you mean “Friday night”?
Am I The IS: I just thought it could be fun to go as a Louis Vuitton nurse.
Indie Lauper: Yeah, that could be fun. Plus, if you do it, you’ll be in the hospital anyway.
Am I The IS: Why, will I get shot by a rabid Richard Prince fan?
Indie Lauper: If you don’t, you’ll have a heart attack from how much your outfit costs.
Am I The IS: Death by shopping. How very ’90s.
Indie Lauper: Well didn’t you hear? The ’90s are back.
[ANGELA LINDVALL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]