Imaginary Socialite

Californiaaa: Hey.

Imaginary Socialite: Hi.

Californiaaa: Want to do something?

Imaginary Socialite: Um, I guess, sure. What?

Californiaaa: Want to do the Cayenne Pepper fast with me?!

Imaginary Socialite: Oooh. I thought you were gonna be like, want to go see a movie?

Californiaaa: You’re the only one I know who has the discipline to go on a fast. Nobody else I know has that kind of discipline. It’s hot.

(pause)

Imaginary Socialite: Wait, are you saying I need to lose weight?

Californiaaa: NO. Not at all. It’s just… it’s like the coolest feeling, this fast. And like, discipline is sexy.

Imaginary Socialite: Whatever, as long as you’re not saying I’m fat.

Californiaaa: You’re not fat.

Imaginary Socialite: I know.

Californiaaa: Good. So, um… come with me to the bar. We’ll get wasted together.

[AARON BEHRENS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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