June « 2008 « Imaginary Socialite

Real or Fake: Maine by Marc Jacobs

Monday, June 30th, 2008

What kind of girl takes a pair of Marc Jacobs sunglasses on a cliff hike in Maine?

a) The kind of girl who also wore an Alexander Wang silk sweater on the cliff hike.

b) The kind of girl who grew up in forests and forgets most other people consider them dirty.

c) The kind of girl who got the MJ sunglasses as a gift from a model, and therefore doesn’t quite care if they break.

d) The kind of girl who shops on Canal Street for MJ sunglasses.

[LOIS LOWRY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Meet Your New Crush 282

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Erin, 29

Not many girls can look like this after five drinks.

But you know.

Not many girls are like Erin.

Don’t crush too hard though -

She’s in Hong Kong until further notice.

[KEVIN ROBERTS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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This Town Is a Song About You

Monday, June 30th, 2008

[ANNIE DILLARD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Troop Beverly Hills

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

There’s investigations to be done,

Like who’s been wearing what with who, hey - what’s been going on?

You’ve got to know! I’d like to know…

You’ve got a lovely way with words, must be the way you see the world, it’s just the way I see the world.

[CLAIRBORNE SWANSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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The Long Hello

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

I have a crush on you, but that’s where it’s gonna end.

You need to get your shit together.

You need to get your heart sewn up.

You need to get your sweatshirt off my floor and your song out of my head and your smile below your shades.

You need to stop making me watch Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke lying around in bed, because I go, “Oh, that should be us,” and that’s bad, because it won’t be us, because it can’t.

For one thing, I’d never wear a tank top after sex. For another, you’re way cuter than Ethan Hawke.

But really it’s because of your Don’t Cares. When I’m with you, my boundaries blur, and it’s four AM in a diner, in a drug den, in a movie star’s apartment, and your Don’t Cares become mine. And I always, always care. And it scares me, and you do too, and it’s like getting into a shower and realizing it’s cold too late. My breath catches. My skin pinks. And everything shines too white on the walls, an Annunciation of soap and shampoo and sixty degrees.

I have a crush on you but that’s where it’s gonna end.

[JOURDAN DUNN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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View From the Twelfth Floor…

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

Attention Vogue interns:

You’ll get a much better view of Sean Avery if you hide out in the office reception area.

Maybe Anna likes to have him sit there just to “be seen.”

I remember my own intern days, when Derek Blasberg used to have the same position back in ‘04, but well, now I’m dating myself.

Plus, Derek’s totally cute, but there wasn’t a horde of intern Band-Aids thinking about marriage prospects or at least McMullan photo credits on an empty stomach.

Anyway, now you know. Good luck, little acolytes!

[ROISIN MURPHY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Real or Fake: Leggy

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

If you had a Balenciaga motorcycle bag, would you throw it around on a stoop in Soho?

If you had a little sister, would you throw her around on a stoop in Soho?

If you had a really fun, yet really uneventful Friday night, would it involve sitting on a stoop in Soho, staring at tourists?

And then would Gary Sinese walk by and try to take your picture?

The answers to those questions preclude the answer to this one:

Balenciaga bag: Real or fake?

[SUSAN MOSS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Meet Your New Crush 281

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

Kay, 17, Street Style Star.

Kay, 17, wears Betsey Johnson’s plaid princess dress.

Kay, 17, wears Francis Bean Cobain’s YSL bag.

Kay, 17, wears Francis Bean Cobain’s YSL shoes.

Kay, 17, wears her mom’s Parisian necklaces.

The smile, however, is all her own.

[AMY LAROCCA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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I Can Tell That We Are Going To Be Friends

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

[COURTNEY TAYLOR - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Real or Fake: I Am Not a Plastic Faux

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Truth be told, I’d rather see a fake bag than a fake person in this city, but it’s really hard to tell who’s counterfeit fun the first time you meet them.

Not so with bags, where just like Regina George, if it looks plastic, then chances are it is.

It’s especially fun to tease the faux Not Plastic Bags from Anya Hindmarch, because the Canal Street gangs make them out of - yeah - plastic.

You can usually tell by their shine if they’re real or if they’re more damaging than the shopping bags they’ve started to stem.

I saw this one across the subway platform in Union Square.

Real or fake?

[VIRGINIA MADSEN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Click Below, Then…

Friday, June 13th, 2008

take two Zoloft and call me in the morning.

[LAUREN WEISBERGER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Am I The IS: Sushi craving.

Fluorescent Adolescent: Absolutely but at Opening Ceremony til 8.

Am I The IS: Hope you have air conditioning.

Fluorescent Adolescent: Fiercely. Not leaving store til I have to. This party tonight will be a hot sweaty mess.

Am I The IS: Better than a hot tranny mess, at least.

Fluorescent Adolescent: Or a tickity tack hot mess supertranny from Transylvania who is not apologizing for it.

Am I The IS: OMG you need to stop watching internet television.

[AMY POEHLER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Meet Your New Crush 282

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

Megan is 26.

She is gorgeous and fun, but also perpetually late.

In fact, maybe Megan was 26 when I started writing this post…

But by now, she’s closer to 30.

Wow.

Gotta get her skin cream.

[SUZANNE MALVEAUX - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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Hillaryous

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

[REGGIE LOVE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

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This is a Test of the Emergency Rumor System

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

YOU HAVE 3 TEXT MESSAGES

BROTHER LAWRENCE
Friend ran into Ethan Hawke getting a marriage license at City Hall.

BROTHER LAWRENCE
Straight out of Star Magazine.

BROTHER LAWRENCE
That’s all I’ve got.

I bet it wasn’t even Ethan Hawke. It bet it was some guy who looks like Phillip Seymour Hoffman…

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Imaginary Socialite

Archive for June, 2008

Real or Fake: Maine by Marc Jacobs

Meet Your New Crush 282

This Town Is a Song About You

Troop Beverly Hills

The Long Hello

View From the Twelfth Floor…

Real or Fake: Leggy

Meet Your New Crush 281

I Can Tell That We Are Going To Be Friends

Real or Fake: I Am Not a Plastic Faux

Click Below, Then…

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

Meet Your New Crush 282

Hillaryous

This is a Test of the Emergency Rumor System

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