Imaginary Socialite

I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow

I met one man who was wounded in love

I met another man who was wounded with hatred

And it’s a hard rain’s gonna fall…

[PHILIP CRAINGI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Nicole, 23

Many boys think Nicole is the most beautiful girl in New York, and they are probably right about that, but they still pick the wrong way to get her.

Drop too many names and she’ll think you’re a poser.

Smile too hard and she’ll think you’re a clown.

Be too nice and she’ll think you’re too easy.

Be too aloof and she’ll just get bored.

But if you really want to know the secret, here’s a very strong hint: Coconut Water.

Now go.

[HAYLEY ATWELL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Maybe We Kissed: Do you want a cigarette?

Imaginary Socialite: Nooo.

Maybe We Kissed: What does that mean?

Imaginary Socialite: It means you shouldn’t be smoking either. Smoking is going to kill you.

Maybe We Kissed: Yeah, well. So is life.

Imaginary Socialite: Haaa.

Maybe We Kissed: So do you want one?

Imaginary Socialite: I guess so, yeah.

Maybe We Kissed: Peer pressure, peer pressure!

[MAUREEN LEON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Today’s New York Times featured an excellent essay by Cathy Horyn on the erosion of women’s literature, and the graphic you see at right.

Now, we all know that Lauren Weisberger is really just pretending to be a writer…

But is that LV bag just pretending to be designer?

With Times budget cuts and Ms. Horyn’s wickedly wise sense of humor, there’s reason enough to suspect that the bag is more Andie Sachs than Saks Fifth Avenue…

Where’s Miranda Priestley when you need her?

[CANDACE BUSHNELL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Made 4 Chanel: Hey, question.

Am I The IS: Sure.

Made 4 Chanel: How do you parachute heroin?

Am I The IS: What?!

Made 4 Chanel: Like, do you know what that means? To parachute heroin?

Am I The IS: Noooo.

Made 4 Chanel: It’s in the MGMT song. Time to Pretend. It’s like…

Am I The IS: “I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroine, and fuck with the stars.”

Made 4 Chanel: What?! Really?

Am I The IS: Well, I mean, you can call the band and find out, I guess…

[DIANE GLYNN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

To: ImaginarySocialite@gmail.com

From: Punky@Brewster.com

Subject: TDTWD

Dear IS,

I thought you would appreciate this photo.

The Dress That Won’t Die showed up at metal show out near the Gowanus Canal!!!

It is still alive and kicking!

I appreciate the owner being female and at a metal show (good) and brining color to the metal community’s preferred palette of black, gray and oil stained olive (good)…

I just wish she had not chosen this particular dress, which she is apparently wearing as a top.

–Sheena.

[LYKKE LI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Chris Brown, 22

A few months ago, The N ran a terrible show called “Star Stylist.”

Every night after Degrassi, they’d run its slogan during commercials:

“Everyone has style. Some have more.”

I think about that every time I see Chris. Except, well, I don’t believe that everyone has style.

I also don’t believe that Chris is going back to London this month like he says he is, but that’s a whole other story…

[NICOLA FORMICETTI - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MORGAN O'DONOVAN - OMG!]

If you were a beauty editor invited to St. Barth’s by a major cosmetics company - and then uninvited because the celebrity spokes-face for the brand had to check into rehab and miss the press trip - would you be quite annoyed? Yes, me too.

Style.com says Lily Cole’s outfit, at right, is the “best look” from the Glastonbury Festival.

I wish my mom had said wearing a t-shirt backwards was my “best look” instead of just “what I did when I’d just hooked up with a boy and was desperately trying to sneak in the house after curfew.”

I also wish I’d have been five foot ten and like a hundred pounds when I was nineteen years old, because then I could get away with making anything look fashionable.

Even, you know, this.

PS, If I’d done this spread, I would have gone for Kelly Osbourne. She looks ridiculous, which now means “really awesome,” at least on the streets from Grand Street up through Thirteenth.

xo IS.

[ALASTAIR ALLEN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]