Same: accent, height, boarding school. Different: photographer, photographee.
[MEGAN DODDS - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Overheard at the Victor Demarchelier opening last night @ Mina Gallery:
“Well, he is still so young.”
“Whoa, seriously, you almost stepped on Grace Coddington.”
“Amazing; she’s not jumping in any of them.”
“God I need more pilates.”
“Well. I guess they’re still together.”
[DANIEL INGALA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
You thought I liked your music, but I didn’t.
Your chords are sour and your strums seep like slop into separate sounds. Your voice is too much like copper and I think your words are too strung and too stinging to celebrate the knots in your heart. But I’ll listen anyway. I’ll keep my eyes open and my gut shut.
I have to, because without you I’d have no fuel. Your words are my fumes, your swears super unleaded. It pumps me until I can get out of bed. I guess my doctor would call it rage. I guess my mind would call it love.
You thought I liked your music, but I don’t.
I guess everyone else does because it shows them something different; something scary; something new. I guess I don’t because it’s what I hear in my head every second, and I don’t really like to share.
Oh yeah, that reminds me:
Can I have my jeans back, before you go on tour? I’ll trade them for a long goodbye.
[KIRSTY HUME - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Please adopt Tess Brokaw as your first American style advisor.
She is very nice and works very hard.
She is also routinely chased around the East Village by Terry Richardson, Olivier Zham, Jefferson Hack, and the blonde girl in Vena Cava.
Jaime Burke originally named the We Are One song “I love Tess,” but it didn’t really match the Calvin Klein ads so he had to change it.
Plus: she looks really good in ripped jeans. Which I understand is the standard uniform for TopShop style advisors.
I highly recommend her for this position, and in no way am tainted by the possibility of getting a discount on TopShop clothes.
Okay, maybe a little.
Okay, maybe a lot.
xoxo The Imaginary Socialite
[HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TESS BROKAW! VAN DER WOODSEN'S GOT NOTHING!]
Well I’d like to visit the moon on a rocket ship high in the air.
Yes, I’d like to visit the moon, but I don’t think I’d like to live there.
Though I’d like to look down at the earth from above, I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon, no I don’t want to live on the moon.
[RITA MORENO - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
1. Dree Hemingway for Coach.
2. Reni Lane and a bunch of models singing backup for The Virgins next month on The Jimmy Fallon Show. Like, the real one, not the webcast.
3. Ed Westwick stuck in the stairwell of the Thompson LES Hotel, hiding from a rabid (read: drunk) pack of girls.
4. Has Georgina Sparks’ desperate publicist tried to kick you out of your restaurant booth? Because he’s tried to kick me out of mine.
5. The disappearing designer shoes of Peaches Geldof. Luna Lovegood, a little bit.
[JANIE BRYANT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Forever 21 just released this shirt.
They think it says “I love peace” in Hebrew.
It actually has three meanings:
1. “Love God and peace.”
2. “Hello and love God.”
3. “Love God, goodbye.”
All three are pretty great translations, but… um… probably not what F21 had in mind.
Anyone wanna try and translate what their Japanese “I love peace” shirt really says?
[SCARLETT JOHANSSON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Wine on Saturday Night and this is what comes out:
“Oh my gosh, I had the weirdest day. I was on the subway, and this girl and guy come up to me. And they’re like, ‘Excuse me, but we really love your look. Would you like to come to an open call at our Abercrombie store?’
And I’m like, Well, whatever, it’ll be a really good story to tell the IS. So I go uptown to the Abercrombie store, and they tell me they’re ‘casting’ for jobs. And I’m like, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.
So first they ask me some questions. They go, ‘So, what do you think of diversity? You can use metaphors if you want, like about Skittles or iTunes songs.’ And I’m like, ‘Okay, I’d like to use the Skittles metaphor.’
And they go, ‘That’s really great!’ And they take my Polaroid. Is it legal to take Polaroids when you go in for a job? If it’s not like, for a Peg Leg campaign or something?
Then I got to go home. I don’t think they’re gonna call me. I mean, I described diversity as like, Sweet Tarts.”
[LORRAINE UY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
1. The ID of “firstname.lastname@example.org” and why he (or she) sends nasty emails about Ben Cho.
2. The quiet arrival of Lindsay Ronson in Manhattan two days ago.
3. The re-enrollment of Olivia Palermo in The New School, where she’ll be the only junior “employed” by DVF.
4. Why LOVE Magazine scrapped their original Beth Ditto cover in favor of Agyness (and by why, I mean, who made them do it)?
5. If anyone’s on my flight to London. February 19, 7:30 AM, British Airways. Last time, it was stylist Sally White in the biggest LV wrap I’ve ever seen. This time, _________? Fill me in and don’t say Al Quaeda.
[J. COURTNEY SULLIVAN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The significant cultural movement called Irony died quietly in its sleep last week, passing away at the respectable age of 2,438.
Officially born in 429 during the stage debut of Oedipus Rex, irony’s childhood years were spent shocking audiences with cries like “No, he’s your son! Don’t sleep with him!” and “But Juliet’s not really dead, dumb ass! Put the poison down!” These adolescent episodes were later dubbed “dramatic irony” by scholars, and “being a teenager” by family members.
Later in life, irony continued to pervade pop culture, this time by seizing Generation X. Its defining moment (literally) came in the 1994 film Reality Bites, when a scruffed Ethan Hawke tells Winona Ryder, “Irony is when the actual meaning differs from the literal meaning.” The same year, Alanis Morisette insisted instead that irony is “like rain on your wedding day,” infuriating English teachers everywhere.
Irony continued its smirked streak in full force until 2008, when Dan Humphrey of Gossip Girl managed to capture the throne of American Teen Outsider without once making use of it. Irony’s friends acknowledge that indeed, it knew its days were numbered.
Irony died on January 31, 2009, when the singer Lisa Loeb – whose angsty hit, Stay was the Reality Bites theme song – advertised her recent wedding to music producer Roey Hershkovitz, in the Vows section of The New York Times.
Acknowledging it could no longer exist in a world where once-scrappy singers earnestly declared their love in a section synonymous with “Tiffany registry” and “fertility treatment,” irony passed quietly at home.
It is buried in the Webster’s dictionary, and survived by a niece, Snark, who might carry on its legacy, if bloggers get any better at actually writing things.
[MARGALIT FOX - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
A pre-Fashion Week pop quiz:
What is the Lychee FranÃ§aise?
a) The latest imported Paris cocktail, now available at The Rose Bar.
b) A Best Foreign Film nominee about an Asian chef in Quebec.
c) The nickname for Carla Bruni’s new hairstyle.
d) Patrick McMullan, typing on too much champagne. French champagne, of course.
[LOUISE BASILIEN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]