Imaginary Socialite

What they were filming at The Jane:

INT. NEW YORK CLUB - NIGHT
An ultra exclusive club reserved for an elite New York money crowd — WALL STREETERS, MEDIA PLAYERS, SUPERMODELS, HANGERSON…

MUSIC blares, and the dance floor’s packed with the privileged, draped in Prada, dripped in sweat.

JAKE sits in a busy booth of 10 PEOPLE, coming and going — a general chaos of champagne, waiters, credit cards, and girls texting. Close to him is his oldest friend, ROBBY MANCIN, 20s, an options trader, electric in nature.

[OLIVER STONE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

1. Hanne’s upcoming campaign for Anna Sui eyewear, shot yesterday, backstage just before the Anna Sui show.

2. Magnus Berger trying to convince a pack of spaced-out male models that yes, the party was in his house, and yes, he really needed to cut the bathroom line… to get into his own bathroom.

3. Olivier eying Ali Lohan at the Purple party in a vaguely shocked, super-concerned way (much like the rest of us!)

4. WHICH big model was swapped backstage in The Tent because she just couldn’t be bothered to make it on time? One of the “smaller” girls ended up with an extra look, and rocked it.

5. Jared Leto pretending to jump off the roof of the Standard - and getting his body about halfway there. Seriously, Catalano, hold up.

[ASHER ROTH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

The Christian Louboutins at right were shot at 8th Street and Mercer.

Do they cost less than the Converse next to them?

More than the Converse next to them?

Or the same price, thanks to a hefty sample sale reduction.

The choice, dear kids, is yours…

[CRYSTAL WREN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Jared Flint, left, and Steve Rojas, right, are…

a) Friends

b) Lovers

c) Stars of Brokeback Mountain: The Musical

d) Drunk

e) Just being themselves…

[KATIE GALLAGHER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

1. Debi Mazar dances with stars, plans her own eyeliner company. Also, just realized before Entourage she was in Empire Records…

2. Justin Timberlake spilling tequila on an unlucky fashion publicist, then apologizing to the publicist with a hug. This immediately changes her luck.

3. Michelle Pfeiffer buying half-price Lohan leggings in Las Vegas.

4. Alex Greenwald, Mario Cart champ.

[LAUREN SCOTT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Natia, 22.

Ukraine.

Unique.

U want?

U wish.

[MARGARITA LEVIEVA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

1. The Chelsea Hotel, Suite 712. Spotted: artists, blue bloods, rock bands, Aussies, starlets, fuck-buddies of starlets, a former face of Proenza, and “the front row’s next generation.” Either you were there… or you stayed fully clothed.

2. The Friendly appearance of two megastars in one movie at the Jane Hotel on Saturday. But their studio pays them to go out together… at least until the box office numbers get released.

3. Is celeb stylist Johnny W going to “ghost” design a fashion house in Europe? Only if a celeb BFF gets the “figurehead” deal.

4. FASHION’S NIGHT OUT! IT’S COMING! AND THEY’RE PSYCHED! AND THEY EVEN EMAILED OUR IMAGINARY ADDRESS! SAYING YAY, FNO IS AWESOME!, BUT NO, 250 MODELS WILL NOT BE STALKING THE STREETS! SO YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO DRESS LIKE A MODEL AND GET OUT THERE!

GO SHOPPING ON SEPTEMBER 9 AND CELEBRATE ALL THE TALENT WHO HAVE US (LITERALLY) IN STITCHES! WE LOVE YOU FASHION’S NIGHT OUT!


[WWW FASHIONS NIGHT OUT DOT COM - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?!]

A confession:

I’ve always felt a bit guilty posting these Dress That Won’t Die pictures.

I don’t mean all of them. The ones where a girl flutters by on the street, fine. The ones where you can see the Dr. Seuss stripes from ten rows up at a concert, cool.

It’s the ones where random girls grin straight into the camera and smile, as if someone squealed “Oh my gosh, can I take a picture of your outfit for a blog?” and they thought they’d be on Fashion Toast.

Oops.

So yes, something gnaws at me when I hit “post” at times like these.

I wonder why I always do it anyway…

[SPENCER GRAMMAR - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

So now that Anna Wintour’s dragging David Letterman to Queens on a sock-finding mission, you should probably know this:

For Fashion’s Night Out, Vogue is booking not one, not two, but 250 models to be scattered throughout the Boroughs.

That means if you can’t catch Mary Kate at Barneys or Sienna at Intermix, it’s all okay -

You could be crashing into Coco at Nine West (the shoe company will host a party with Lucky) or knocking over Lily and Agyness at the Burberry flagship.

Of course, there’s still one more piece of the puzzle - where will Alexa Chung be?

[ZACK LIVELY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

What can you buy for 50 Euros?

A large Coca Cola in Paris.

A Cheap Monday jumpsuit in Stockholm.

A pair of sandals at the Prada outlet in Milan.

“Seven minutes in Heaven” in Amsterdam.

Or if you’re Christian Lacroix, exactly one top model to walk in your maybe-probably last collection.

Daria S, Hanne, Vlada - you did the old guard proud.

[TALLULAH ORMSBY-GORE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Is this the real Katy Perry?

a) Yes, and she makes the same kissy face in her video.

b) Yes, and she’s even thinner than I thought.

c) Yes, but she’s pretending it’s just Orangina in that glass.

d) Seriously, IS, are you on crack?

[LADY GAGA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

1. Peaches, Pippa, and Courtney Love: The new fashion terror trio begins; long may they reign.

2. Anna’s assistant… again.

3. Who will be seated for the Amber Rose dinner? Besides The Sartorialist, I mean.

4. Claire Danes is exactly 10 years older her DJ! Which means that her DJ shouldn’t be in a bar, should she?

[JEFF TWEEDY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

Dear Girl in a Bra,

Are you out of your mind?

a) Yes.
b) No.

If you circled B, then what the fuck are you doing wearing a strapless bra and nothing else into a public place?! On a night when it’s 45 degrees?! And those boots!

My fingers are crossed that you’re visiting a TopShop style advisor, pronto. Dear lord.

[STACY LONDON - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

1) The unfortunate indie songstress who got food poisoning at Sir Phillip’s fancy dinner. Oh wait, so did the black-banged DJ and the super sweet web editor… ouch.

2) The Dandy Warhols playing a secret concert where? Let’s ask the Schnabel girls.

3) L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E shopping for something, or maybe someone, in NYC.

4) “Oh, yeah, I broke up with that girl right after I saw you.” Thanks, I really like you, but it takes more than half your cigarettes to get me into bed.

[PATTI STANGER - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]

This Balenciaga City bag is filled with empty “organic” pill bottles.

Were they taken to delude someone into thinking she was carrying a real Balenciaga bag?

Or swallowed to cope with the fact that, even in these times, she’d paid for a real Balenciaga bag?

Leave your guesses after the beep.

PS: Yes, that’s a bottle of Essie’s Quicksilver nail polish, and yes, it’s really better than the one from Chanel. An inconvenient truth, if ever there was one.

[JULIA FRAKES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]