Heartbreak knockin’ ‘em down like the 7th grade
Heartbreak, cigarettes and songs, with a winter’s chafe
Heartbreak keep like my daughter and a run away
Aha shake tapered jean girl kills me
[AGNÈS BOULARD - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Let There Be Night
September 6th, 2010Real or Fake: Giving Up the Gun
September 6th, 2010
[EZRA KOENIG - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Things to Discuss This Week…
September 6th, 2010
1. Courtney Love, out. MIA, in. (Not in our hearts and souls… just at a major Fashion Week event… Cotton candy, anyone?)
2. Hey blondie, don’t drink and catwalk.
3. Take one British blue blood who wishes he were Street, plus one eyeliner pixie with an electric Fender pedigree. Mix well, and don’t use any shampoo. Voila, l’amour!
4. Which clothing emperor flew his Vegas call girls, private plane style, into his New York flagship, but wouldn’t pay for their outfits? “This isn’t a fucking charity” he reasoned. Whoa.
5. Vicky Vale, style icon.
[JODI MARSH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The Delicious Dish
September 6th, 2010
What’s one thing Karlie Kloss took to her campaign shoots with Dior, Hermes, and Donna Karan?
Cookies.
She bakes them for all her photographers and stylists and brings them to set. Awww.
Now she’s doing the same thing – kind of – for Erin Fetherston. On Friday, for Fashion’s Night Out, Karlie will be decorating cupcakes with anybody who wants to join her. She’ll be stationed with Erin Fetherston in the Juicy Couture flagship and – weirdly – joined by Metric and Cory Kennedy.
Um, okay. Cool. Can the icing be pink, please?
[RUSSELL MARSH - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Lauren Moffatt is not Jill Stuart
August 22nd, 2010
Right? Even though they bought the same fabric?
[ELLIOTT ERWITT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Postcards From the Ledge
August 6th, 2010
[EMAIL ME - IMAGINARYSOCIALITE@GMAIL.COM]
They’re Just Like Us!
August 6th, 2010
Here’s how you know you’re obsessed:
It’s four AM.
You’re watching Alfie on Hulu.
You can’t sleep.
You can’t get Sienna’s hair.
You can’t get Sienna’s smeared-but-still-perfect eyeliner.
Instead, you stop the movie in the middle, and go, “Oh my gosh, I have bruises on my thighs just like hers!”
And it actually feels like an accomplishment.
[JANIE BRYANT - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The First Cut Is the Deepest
August 6th, 2010
The salons are already booked through August.
Well, the cool ones anyway.
Why?
Well who can explain really (except Malcolm Gladwell and those dudes from Freakonomics) but they predict a riot…sea change… hair change coming through, just in time for Fashion Week.
Give your thanks to Emma Watson, and the urge to spend money on tequila instead of shampoo.
But the scary thing? Late at night in rooftop glass bathrooms, girls are talking about DIYing their own bob. Eek.
Scissors – they’re not just for slicing skin anymore.
[RUBY ALDRIDGE - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Vampires Can’t Eat Cupcakes
August 6th, 2010
Today is Andy Warhol’s birthday.
It is also Becka Diamond’s birthday.
That could be a coincidence…
But does anyone believe in those anymore?
[RON GALELLA - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Past is Present
August 6th, 2010
Blocked Call: {IMAGE FROM SMS PHOTO}
Imaginary Socialite: Shut up.
Blocked Call: It’s a good looking sign.
Imaginary Socialite: Indeed. But does it belong to you?
Blocked Call: Now it does… but for a price, it can belong to anyone. Our network has both signs and our network has an email for them: BeatriceSign@gmail.com
Imaginary Socialite: Wow. I don’t even want to know how you got it.
Blocked Call: A hot air balloon, a lock of MK Olsen’s hair, an underground circuit of Jack Siegel fans, a screwdriver from Duane Reade, a Matt Creed mixtape, and the fourth Misshape.
The crime of the century?
[SASHA GREY - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Real or Fake: Seeing Stars Hearts
July 30th, 2010
The girl on the right is a TGBT: A Too Good To Be True.
She’s adorable.
She’s rocking insanely cool heart-shaped shades.
She’s mastered the look of red lips in the day.
She’s dancing and not posing.
And she’s got a sweet Chanel purse.
But nothing’s ever this good – is it?
[ANNICK GOUTAL - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
The Is-Nots Return! Snooki Is Not Sookie!
July 30th, 2010
Or as Atlanta DeCadenet says, one of them is “definitely one of the dumbest bitches out there.” Yeah, guess which one.
[MATTHEW BIRES - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
Postcards From the Ledge
July 27th, 2010
[email me - imaginarysocialite@gmail.com]
Rumours, Track Five
July 27th, 2010
“Be my girlfriend,” he thuds.
It’s 5 AM and I’d think I was dreaming, except the waitress heard us. She was laughing, and not on the inside.
“What does that even mean?” I laze. I don’t mean to be all 500 Days of Summer but the truth is, I need to stall.
“Don’t play Philosophy Major,” he snaps. Actually, I studied art. Actually, I can bullshit way better than those metaphysics kids. “You know what I mean,” he continues. He tugs on his t-shirt. I think he only wears one, but maybe he has multiples, like Superman. “A girlfriend. She should be cool, and she should get me, and she should be really nice. She should be you, maybe.”
Laughter behind us. The waitress. I order Lo Mein Then I look out the window.
Here’s what my guts do: They splurge on pink and purple slime, and churn the threads of glee and “gross!” into a sticky knot that scrapes above my ribs. I can feel rainbows and hearts and sunshine jabbing into my stomach. I can feel hands on my thighs even though I’m twisted up. And the happy and the horror zip themselves together and finally fold away.
Here’s what my face does: It hatches into a daylight grin and a stream of laughing air. I learned how to do this when I was fourteen, but as I grew up, it got harder to tell when it was fake. I’m not grown up yet. I shouldn’t have just typed that. Anyway.
“I’m tired,” I hiss. “But you’re funny. Can you pass me the hot sauce?”
We live a block from each other. We take separate cabs home. I sleep dreamless, and with my fingers in my hair.
[AURELIE BIDERMANN - AM I THE IMAGINARY SOCIALITE?]
